A review into the death of a man who took his own life has shone a light on domestic abuse in gay male relationships, especially those living in rural areas.
The report, launched after the man died of a drug overdose, found that same-sex couples who lived in the countryside tended to find it harder to access support compared with those in urban areas.
The review into the man's death was carried out after his family alleged his husband had been abusive to him, had known he was going to take his own life and could have prevented it.
Police launched an investigation but did not find evidence to charge anyone and no arrests have been made.
However, the Office of the Police and Crime Commissioner conducted a domestic abuse probe, with Norfolk Community Safety Partnership (NCSP), to see if lessons could be learned.
The review has now been published, and highlights a series of concerns.
WHAT HAPPENED?
In 2022, the man was found inside his vehicle with a handwritten note to his husband, stating "sorry".
Despite the efforts of the emergency services, he could not be revived.
The inquest into his death at Norfolk Coroner's Court, opened by the county's senior coroner Jacqueline Lake, heard he had died from methadone toxicity.
A full inquest has yet to take place.
WHAT DID THE REVIEW FIND?
The report - which has anonymised those involved, with 'Simon' as the deceased and 'Thomas' as his husband - described how the couple met in 2008 and married in 2014.
It said: “Simon had lived with mental and physical health for many years, having been diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder and chronic fatigue syndrome.
“In the years before his death, he was undergoing a series of diagnostic testing for a range of symptoms.
“He had also been prescribed methadone and having developed a methadone dependency had successfully addressed this challenge.”
He also had a history of suicide attempts and suicidal ideation, and his mental health had been worsened by the deaths of his parents in 2014 and 2021.
The report adds that his relationship with Thomas had been “difficult” over the years before Simon’s death.
They had both been having separate private counselling to address their problems, but Simon remained adamant he wanted a divorce – something Thomas did not.
In conclusion, the review identified that Simon had several health worries, appeared to be fearful of losing other close relatives, had financial worries and was “not happy” in his marriage.
CONCERNS ABOUT ABUSE IN GAY RURAL RELATIONSHIPS
The review has also shone a light about domestic abuse within gay male relationships, both in terms of higher rates of domestic abuse and people affected being less likely to know where to access support in rural communities.
The panel which carried out the review highlighted several studies suggesting increased prevalence of domestic abuse in same sex relationships.
One such study reported the rate of violent victimisation of lesbian or gay people was more than two times the rate for straight people.
Another said that LGBT+ victims of domestic abuse were almost twice as likely to have attempted suicide.
The Support in Safe Accommodation Strategy for Norfolk provided a summary of the local needs assessment.
It states that men make up 25pc of all domestic abuse victims and highlighted a number of gaps including there being no specific safe accommodation provision for male victims.
It also added that as there is an under-recording of demand, either in terms of support
or use of safe accommodation, it was unable to determine the amount of safe
accommodation that may be required for male victims, concluding “refuges
are unlikely to meet the needs of males”.
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WHAT LESSONS HAVE BEEN LEARNED?
The review added there had been a lack of professional curiosity as healthcare professionals, including a private counsellor whom Simon had significant contact with, never asked about feelings of safety, nor did domestic abuse feature as part of routine screening.
The panel considered the intersection of other factors relevant to Simon, such as rates of domestic abuse and suicide in LGBT communities.
It also looked at recent research linking suicide as an impact of domestic abuse and unconscious bias where it was framed as a woman’s issue.
The report added: “The panel recognises the importance of raising awareness of these factors in tackling domestic abuse.
Recommendations following the review included NCSP updating its domestic abuse policy to encourage professionals to recognise indicators of, and routinely ask about, domestic abuse.
The Home Office has also been recommended to raise the status of domestic abuse, exploring the potential of regulating private counsellors to ensure it is specifically cited within training requirements.
Finally, the NCSP has been tasked with developing a coordinated awareness raising campaign of domestic abuse across the county’s private counsellors ensuring they are equipped to recognise and respond appropriately.
WHAT IS A DOMESTIC ABUSE RELATED DEATH REVIEW?
Formerly known as domestic homicide reviews, Domestic Abuse Related Death Reviews (DARDR) are multi-agency investigations.
They can be commissioned whenever there is a death that has, or appears to have, resulted from domestic abuse. As well as physical abuse, this includes controlling or coercive behaviour and emotional and economic abuse.
They are not designed to apportion blame or determine exactly how a person has died but aim to identify areas where local authorities can make improvements to protect others in future.
Where a victim took their own life by suicide, and the circumstances give rise to concern – for example it emerges that there was coercive controlling behaviour in the relationship – a review will also be undertaken, even if a suspect is not charged with an offence or they are tried and acquitted. Reviews are not about who is culpable.
- Do you need support? Samaritans can be reached 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, the NHS First Response Service is available on 111, option two.
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