Domestic violence Norwich victim Niki Cottrell speaks out

She was spending a year as an overseas student from the USA and the pair met while both at university in Colchester.

At the end of her course, she returned to Arizona but the relationship continued and they married in Chicago in December 2019.

Eight months later, she moved across the Atlantic to live with him in Ipswich.

Niki Cottrell suffered domestic abuse and violence at the hands of Norwich man Connor Moore (Image: Supplied) But not long after the move, she began to question whether she had made a terrible mistake.

"My life was turning out better than I could have ever imagined,” she said.

“But less than two weeks after my big move, everything changed."

What had started, Ms Cottrell said, was a pattern of abusive behaviour that ended not only with their divorce but Moore's conviction for assaulting his wife.

Connor Moore at Ipswich Crown Court (Image: Newsquest) Moore, now 29, and from the Runnel, in Bowthorpe, appeared in court last week having admitted to two counts of assault by beating.

He was given an 18-month community order with 20 days of rehabilitation activities and 150 hours of unpaid work.

Moore had also been accused of twice raping Ms Cottrell, once while she was asleep. But after a two-day trial he was found not guilty.

Following his sentencing for the assaults, Ms Cottrell has agreed to waive her right to anonymity in order to speak out and warn others of the impact of domestic abuse and the signs for people to look out for.

She said the start of their relationship had been like a dream and everything she could have ever wished for.

“I quickly fell for him," she said.

“He made me feel special, and I thought he was everything I ever wanted.  

“We had so much in common and spent every moment we could together."

Niki Cottrell suffered domestic abuse and violence at the hands of Norwich man Connor Moore (Image: Supplied) Unlike many relationships, it survived the end of their university days and even the thousands of miles distance as she returned to Arizona.

Life seemed to moving in the right direction and she lived blissfully unaware of the darker side of their relationship that was about to unfold.

Ms Cottrell, now aged 28, and working as a social media editor, said: “After the first attack, I told myself it was a one-off. I was scared, but I had already subtly begun to grow isolated from my support network by this point. And I felt he was so perfect for me otherwise.

“After much internal debate, I stayed.

“What I didn’t realise then was that after I had made an excuse for his abuse once, it became that much easier, for both of us, to justify it again.” 

Niki Cottrell suffered domestic abuse and violence at the hands of Norwich man Connor Moore (Image: Supplied) Niki Cottrell suffered domestic abuse and violence at the hands of Norwich man Connor Moore (Image: Supplied) READ MORE: Mother died by suicide following the revelation of a Clare’s Law disclosure 

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One of Moore's attacks came after an argument and when he was making a cup of tea.

He walked over to his wife, grabbed her arms and threw her to the ground.

Then, five months later, he tried to prevent her getting out of bed and hit her with an open hand to the side of her chest.

She managed to leave the room, but Moore followed her, yelling and screaming and calling her names.

“Over time the aggression picked up, as did the mental and emotional abuse," she said.

She explained how the attacks had a "honeymoon period" in between.

"There was just enough warmth, just enough hope, to let me continue to believe he was still ‘the one’," she added.

At his sentencing hearing, the court was told Moore had apologised after the attacks and seemed upset by his actions.

Niki Cottrell suffered domestic abuse and violence at the hands of Norwich man Connor Moore (Image: Supplied)

Eventually, though, Ms Cottrell decided she had to leave.

"I remember thinking if I don't leave, I might not survive this," she said.

With the support of a few trusted loved ones, she managed to walk away from Moore - who is believed to work as a self-employed groundworker - in August 2022.

Ms Cottrell later reported the abuse after becoming concerned about other women that might cross paths with Moore.

Niki Cottrell suffered domestic abuse and violence at the hands of Norwich man Connor Moore (Image: Supplied) “Although I freed myself of the abuse, the battle wasn’t quite over yet as I had to face a court case," she said.

“In the courtroom, survivors are forced to recount some of the worst trauma of their lives, only to be scrutinised for inconsistencies, their past put under a microscope and their reactions judged against a false idea of how a victim ‘should’ have behaved.

“This was my reality. Going to court was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

“I was asked to relive deeply painful and vulnerable moments in front of strangers. I didn’t feel safe. And yet I knew I had to show up, both for myself and for every woman who’s ever been made to feel powerless."

Niki Cottrell is moving on with her life and wants to help other survivors of domestic assault and violence (Image: Submitted) She added: “I’m one of the lucky ones who was able to get out of an abusive relationship. As far as my own life was concerned, that was more than enough.

“The key reason I had the strength to leave my abusive relationship was because of other women’s stories. It was important that I shared mine. 

Niki Cottrell (Image: Supplied) "I hope my experience can be part of a bigger conversation, one that can eventually lead to the systemic and societal changes needed for victims of domestic violence. 

“The more we talk about domestic abuse the more women we save."

• If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse in Norfolk, NIDAS can help by calling 0300 561 0555, texting 07860 063464 or emailing referrals@nidasnorfolk.co.uk. If in immediate danger, you should always call 999.