Norfolk mother Kyra Welch writes about her experiences with her terminally ill four-year-old son Kaiden Griffin. Kaiden, who grew up in North Creake, near Fakenham, and now lives in Holt, has a Congenital Heart Defect...
To the people who ask when I'm going to have another child - I'm not.
I don't plan on bringing another child into this world while my first child needs all of my love.
People tell me not to be like that, and that they only had one child and regretted it.
What they didn't have was a child like Kaiden. A child that needed all of my undivided attention; that needed every bit of love I have to give.
What it's like for me every time I look at Kaiden is looking at uncertainty.
I don't know what later that day holds, let alone tomorrow, or the next week.
I kiss him on his head every night not knowing if I'll kiss his head the next night.
I wake up every morning to his smiley face not knowing if I'll wake up the next morning too it.
How could I possibly share my love? How could I possibly let Kaiden feel left out to another child? I can't.
What most people don't understand is what it's like to love a child with all you heart knowing one day how broken you let heart will be.
How would I be able to love another child if I didn't have my first child?
The point is having another child while I have Kaiden isn't an option.
I need to give Kaiden a life full of as much love as I can.
I don't want to have to share my time when my time with him is so limited.
I don't want him to feel pushed out.
I want my son to have the most memorable life, I want him to make memories and know that he has my undivided attention for as long as he's here.
So please next time you ask when I'm going to give him a brother or sister, or when we are finally going to have another one. Please consider what I wrote, I'm doing what I have to do for my son.
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