'What a tragedy' - Ex-coroner speaks out as hospice volunteer service ends

In his own words, William Armstrong OBE explains why the future of bereavement services is so important, in light of changes to the volunteer service at the Priscilla Bacon Lodge hospice in Norwich.

Norfolk's former senior coroner William Armstrong (Image: Archant)

"The pain of grief is just as much part of life as the joy of love. Grief is the price we pay for love." This is a quote from the distinguished psychiatrist and bereavement expert Colin Murray-Parkes.

For those who have suffered the loss of a loved one, good bereavement support can be so important.

Nothing and no one can bring back the person who has gone but skilled, sensitive and confidential help can assist the bereaved in helping them to move on with their journey of grieving – someone who can be there to care, share the pain and, most important of all, just to listen.

There is no way around grief but there is a way through. As I learned from nearly two decades as a coroner every experience of bereavement is different. It is never helpful or appropriate to say to a grieving person "I know how you feel”. You don't and you can't.

Good quality support given by trained volunteers can be invaluable to those who have suffered a loss. The right kind of support given by the right kind of people at the right time can make a real difference and be of enormous help.

That is what has been provided for the last thirty years by the devoted and dedicated volunteers of the Priscilla Bacon Bereavement Support Volunteers Service. These wonderful people have been giving support to those who have lost loved ones who have received palliative and end-of-life care at Priscilla Bacon Lodge in Norwich.

Now we are told that this service has disbanded - in this newspaper last Saturday. What a tragedy this is and how devastating too for those who have given freely of their time and skills to provide a service that has been so widely appreciated and valued.

It has been asserted by experts that bereavement support is an important part of palliative and end-of-life care and that grief and palliative care are interrelated and mutually inclusive.

There is also a plethora of evidence that effective bereavement support can reduce the likelihood of the bereaved developing serious long-term problems impacting on their health and wellbeing in many ways.

Whilst it is recognised that information and "signposting" will be available, this is no substitute for the service which these volunteers have been giving. It is also accepted that there are other sources of help available – most notably from Cruse Bereavement Support – but these resources are very stretched.

The Covid pandemic has led to more people needing this kind of help. Now is certainly not the right time to be withdrawing support for the bereaved.

As the eighteenth statesman Edmund Burke said: "The true way to mourn the dead is to take care of the living."