Read in full: Sister of stab victim on family's heartache
- Credit: Archant
The sister of Thomas Moore, who was stabbed to death by Matthew Constantinou following a row over a £10 drugs debt, has told of the pain her brother's loss has caused.
Here is her victim impact statement in full:
"I don't even know how to begin to write this.
"How can you even attempt to share how you feel about the brutal death of your closest family member?
"To lose our parents through illness was a hard enough journey to navigate but to have my brother, who had been there for me through all of life's twists and turns, killed in such a cruel and terrifying way has changed me beyond recognition.
"As a family this has destroyed us all.
"Tom may have been my brother and best friend but that wasn't all he was, he was an amazing dad who adored his wonderful little girl.
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"She no longer has the chance of long walks in the woods, adventures exploring the sand dunes with her daddy and magical Easter egg hunts with the fairies that he set up each year.
"He was an incredible uncle who always made each of his four nephews feel as if they were the most important person in the world.
"He found boundless energy for them and made them giggle like no one else could.
"As my youngest son says 'he was the person who got me, he made me the happiest I can ever be and listened to me, he made me feel strong, brave and special'.
"All of these children will never get to build new memories with the daddy or uncle that they should be spending time with and their very essence, their innocence and trust in the world has been stolen from them.
"I walk through the waking hours in a daze, I function but I have lost my smile, it no longer reaches my eyes and any attempt to laugh sounds hollow and fake.
"How can you spend each day with the imagery of your brother bleeding out onto the pavement running through your brain and be the mum you were before, the partner you were before, the person you were before?
"Something as simple as sleep has become a luxury and when I finally fall asleep I am waking up reliving a nightmare, I wasn't there to see my brother dying on the ground but in my dreams I am there trying to stem the blood, trying to plug his wounds and trying to keep him here whilst the man who killed him casually saunters away swinging his bat like he hasn't a care in the world.
"How can I heal knowing the pain he suffered, the sheer terror he experienced?
"People who talk of time healing obviously have never experienced this kind of traumatic grief.
"Time cannot heal this, nothing can heal the loss of a loved one at the hands of another human. It is unthinkable that any normal person can kill someone and walk away, only thinking of themselves.
"My view that humans are intrinsically good has been shattered.
"How can I tell my children to look for the good in the world, to trust people and find the beauty when there are hundreds of families in England on a similar journey to mine at this very moment?
"No one deserves to be stabbed in the neck and be left to die, no family deserves to have to live with this.
"This is not something you 'get over', 'heal from' or move on from, this is life-changing and has broken us.
"This is something that we have to carry with us every day, allow to become a part of us.
"At times for me this risks becoming too heavy a weight to endure, but endure I must as there are too many innocent children who need help to navigate this, who need parents to help them through this horror and broken as I am I know that for Tom we must find our way through.
"Tom was a good person, a free spirit with a kind soul.
"You didn't even know him but thought nothing of chasing him and taking his life.
"His daughter has had her first birthday without her daddy by her side, she turned five and she will never have the chance to kayak with him, swim in the sea, have a picnic or enjoy the simple pleasures in life with her daddy.
"You took that from her.
"I couldn’t even bring myself to attend court to listen to the harrowing details of the night you killed Tom, listening to the pain and suffering he must have endured is just unbearable.
"Matthew Constantinou, you haven't just taken Tom's life but you have ruined the lives of all those who loved him.
"Even worse is that there are no signs that you even care, not about what you have done to us or Tom but only about the impact it has on you.
"I doubt you have ever taken responsibility for any of your life choices or actions.
"I find myself wondering how your family move on from this too.
"How do you continue to love a family member, knowing they actively sought to end the life of someone they had never even met.
"How does it feel as a mother to know your son stabbed a man to death and casually sauntered back to her house swinging a bat as if he hadn't a care in the world and knowing your child didn't even care enough to call an ambulance?
"I shall never know how your family will navigate the aftermath of your cruel and brutal actions but I shall concentrate on getting my family through the irreparable damage you have caused.
"You have taken someone so special and so loved from this world, yet you live on.
"There is no justice in that.
"My only hope is that you never get the opportunity to destroy anyone else's life and that you take responsibility for killing the man that meant so very much to us all.
"Tom, we will hold our memories close, hug the children tightly and get them through their grief.
"We are a family that is broken but not defeated.
"For you, we will give them all the adventures we can, we will walk barefoot on the beach, swim in the sea, cuddle up around the campfire and remember and love you always.
"Your spirit lives on in us all."