A Norfolk funeral home has warned that the increase in direct cremations, in which the deceased is taken alone to the crematorium and ashes returned to the family at a later date, are making it harder for people to grieve.
Direct or unattended cremations have surged in popularity over the past three years.
Catalysed by the pandemic and then further fuelled by the cost of living crisis, the number of direct cremations in the UK has jumped more than 15pc since 2019.
Often billed as a “fuss-free” and “affordable” alternative to a traditional funeral, this type of service usually costs around £2,000 - almost half the average funeral spend in the UK of £3,900.
Emily Houghton, director of operations at Rosedale Funeral Homes in Norfolk, said many people choose them at the request of their deceased loved one.
She said: “People think they’re taking the stress away from their family by telling them not to bother with a big ceremony.
“But really, funerals are for the living. A lot of the time people don't appreciate the value of coming together, and the essential role that plays in the grieving journey.”
Ms Houghton said she’s seen an increase in people struggling to process grief, which she believes is linked to falling funeral numbers.
She said this is being exacerbated by people choosing large national companies that moved the deceased to undisclosed locations for the cremation.
She said: “We’ve seen cases of people’s loved ones being driven hundreds of miles to other parts of the country, which can cause a lot of distress.
“All they know is their loved one was collected by someone, then two weeks later they got back some ashes.
“I’ve heard a lot of people struggling to accept the death because there was no ceremony, no marker.”
DEALING WITH BEREAVEMENT
Sarah Howard, a bereavement support facilitator at Rosedale, said there are things people struggling following a direct cremation can do.
She said: “I would encourage anyone in this situation to hold their own ‘ goodbye ceremony’ - perhaps visit their special place, like a beach or park, with family or friends, or go to their favourite pub or restaurant and have their favourite food and drink together.
“Dedicate the day to that person, share memories and celebrate their life by doing what was special to them.
“Many families find comfort in commissioning a plaque or bench or buying a rose bush or tree to plant in their memory.
“I’d also encourage the bereaved to write a letter to their loved one, expressing their feelings and saying their goodbye this way.
“This letter can be kept in a memory box with other special items.”
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