Stop the clock, I’m really not ready
- Credit: submitted
If one more person says to me 'It's just a number'... I'm far older than I ever imagined
I've just had a significant birthday and I've admitted, a lot, that I can't get used to being this old.
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I don't usually think about age very much, life's too busy to worry about numbers.
But this birthday has been looming and I've not been feeling great about it. It didn't help when someone said, 'Is that all?' when I told them how old I was. Number one sweetie-pie Sunny says maybe they thought it was a compliment as I'm so grown up, but I know I simply look ancient.
- 1 Body found in search for missing 87-year-old Margaret Smith
- 2 'I can't carry it' - Shock as plant starts growing eight inches a day
- 3 WATCH: 'Selfish' drug-driver ploughs into police detective's vehicle
- 4 Norfolk man who had sexual relationship with teen jailed
- 5 Two Norfolk businesses star in TV show
- 6 Fly-tipper travelled from Welsh border to dump in Norfolk
- 7 Aldi planning four new stores in Norfolk
- 8 The Range confirms new store at former Outfit on retail park
- 9 Funeral held for much loved windsurfer after body found in Sweden
- 10 Man charged with attempted murder after serious Norwich assault
I'm not too worried about that though, not really. I live with ridiculously fluffy hair so I know there's more to life than appearances.
But reaching the half century and still feeling uncomfortable about it is not what I expected. I normally love birthdays, mine - and others. I like the cake, the cards, the glitter, the phone calls, the messages, the candles and the singing, I like all of it.
But I have been ignoring this one. How did I allow the last few years to slip by? How did life get so wrapped up with the hunt for the perfect breakfast pain au chocolate and a constant feeling that I ought to be more tidy, more productive, more focused, more creative or a better wife, parent and friend.
Suddenly I'm 50 and I'm not how I imagined I'd be as a 50-year-old. I thought by now I'd have a clean car, a dining room, an up-to-date address book and proper holidays. But I'm still losing stuff, I'm still working the same hours and earning the same as I did 20 years ago, I'm still in a 'project' house and still asking my mum for addresses.
Maybe I now understand the 'this is it' slogan. If you don't do it now, years pass.
So, I'm going to do something and I'm not the only one - lovely husband Rob has just bought a track day car…