Jake Humphrey mixes with superstars – top footballers and Formula 1 drivers, some of the most talented, fabulously wealthy and famous people in the world. Here in Norfolk he counts Delia as a friend and represents the actual Queen.
And yet he thought he had failed at life when he was just 18.
His trajectory from disastrous exam results and being sacked by a Norwich McDonald’s to success beyond his wildest dreams is part of his latest book, but not in a 'look-at-me' way. That is not Jake’s style. Instead it is a route into a genuinely fascinating exploration of how high-achieving people (sportspeople, actors, musicians, entrepreneurs) reach the pinnacle of their chosen professions.
After years of coming across people with extraordinary skills, drive and achievements Jake was curious to discover how successful people achieve their ambitions. Last year he teamed up with psychologist and high-performance expert Damian Hughes to launch a podcast. It has been wildly successful with guests including Tom Daley, Steven Gerrard, Kelly Holmes, Chris Hoy, Jo Malone and Jonny Wilkinson. Many are world class sportspeople but others have excelled in music, business or entertainment.
“What I love is that I’m getting messages on social media from 13 or 14-year-old school kids who have created a high performance poster for their classroom and international cricketers and England footballers, people at the top of their game, are sending me messages saying they are listening to it too,” said Jake. “The book is not about sport and it’s not about business, it’s not about entrepreneurship, or acting or dancing or singing, although we speak to people who do all those things. It is about life.”
Jake grew up in Upper Stoke, just south of Norwich. His mum was a teacher, his dad chief executive of Age Concern Norfolk. Today he lives close by, with wife Harriet (they met in a nightclub on Prince of Wales Road when she was 18 and he was 19) and their two young children.
“I’m not sure how many future marriages have been created in a nightclub on Prince of Wales Road. I think those relationships tend to last a bit less than 20-odd years!” said Jake.
“Of all the things I have done, the best is having that really brilliant stable wonderful nurturing relationship with my wife and two children.
“And coming back to Norfolk is the single greatest decision we ever made. We lived for 15 years in London and were totally happy there. And then our first child was born and we wanted to come home.
“Norfolk has been amazing for us as a family. We feel so connected to the county. The Norfolk coast is like a magnet for us. Mud sliding at Burnham Overy Staithe is a must, we are at Wells beach every sunny day in the summer holidays, we love taking our dog for a walk where we live, we love paddle-boarding on the river.”
Every High Performance podcast guest is asked to describe three “non-negotiable behaviours.” Jake's include coming home to his family every evening. “I might have been working for BT Sport until 11.30pm but I come home so that I can do the school run the next morning. I can’t miss kicking a ball about on the landing with Sebastian or sitting with Florence asking about her school play or checking her spellings. I want them to remember that no matter how busy he was, how strong his work ethic, if you say to my kids in 10 years time, ‘What was the most important thing to your dad when you were growing up?’ I want them to say, ‘Us.’”
The podcast, featuring famous people at the very top of their game, often chatting to Jake as he sits at home, has been downloaded more four million times. Now Jake and Damian have written a linked book aimed at helping everyone be a champion in their own lives.
Key tips include the crucial difference between fault and responsibility (it might not be your fault but your reaction is always your responsibility) and why goals are over-rated.
“You might never get there, or if you do get there the thrill is never as good as you think it will be. Ever,” said Jake. “So you have to focus on the process, on making the right decisions every single day and having a good heart and trying to spread positivity when there is so much negativity and toxicity and comparison.
“I want to empower my kids to be kinder, more generous, more thoughtful every single day.
“All that actually matters is not having a £million in the bank, not have a Ferrari in the drive, not having a private jet waiting for you at Norwich airport. What really matters is just feeling happy and fulfilled.”
Jake is patron of Norfolk’s Break charity, a trustee of the Community Sports Foundation run by Norwich City Football Club, and he and Harriet are vice presidents of Young Lives Versus Cancer. In 2020 the Queen appointed him a Deputy Lord-Lieutenant of Norfolk.
“I grew up in a house where empathy and understanding and care for other people was always at the forefront of my mum and dad’s minds,” said Jake. “We have a phrase in our family which is ‘roots and wings.’
“Mum and dad felt it was their responsibility to give us roots and wings; the confidence to go off to chase our dreams, and if we failed it didn’t matter because the other thing they gave us was roots.”
A generation later and just a few miles away there is always a light on above the front door. “I say to the kids, (they are only six and eight now so it goes over their heads a bit!) ‘You are going to go off and live a wonderful life but we will always leave a light on for you to come back to, no matter how difficult life gets,'" said Jake.
“While giving us those wings and roots my mum and dad worked very hard to make us understand that there is a whole world out there of people who are less fortunate than ourselves.
“I don’t think we can wait for this sort of stuff. Too often people think I’m going to be generous when I’m successful. I’m going to be happy when I reach those goals, I’m going to be content when I get that thing. The truth is you can’t wait for life to be easy before you can be happy. You can’t wait until you have achieved and got all the things you want before you feel fulfilled. You can’t wait until you have enjoyed all the success you’re going to enjoy before you try to help other people.”
His lucky break came when he returned to school for A level retakes and a local television company put out a call for student political pundits. It eventually led to Jake covering elite sport around the world.
“You could say that failing my A levels at the Hewett School is my biggest single failure and actually there is every chance that that is the single best thing that has happened to me,” he said.
“We need to reframe the conservation around failure. Failure is not a full stop, it’s a comma.
“It was really difficult for me when I failed my A levels...It was really horrible to be fired from the McDonald’s at Tuckswood because they said I had no communication skills...But if you can get yourself into a mindset where you can push through and come out the other side, as hard as these things are at the time, they leave clues about how to deal with negativity, you get resilience.
“I only feel now, at the age of 43 that I can talk this way, although I have always been really interested in psychology. I did psychology A level – obviously not very well!
“That’s why I love doing sports broadcasting. I don’t really care about the actual game or race or event. I love seeing all these high performers. I love seeing people operate at the absolute maximum, I love sitting in a studio with elite people, I love all of that.”
Despite his success, Jake still worries. “I have always been a worrier. I’m a big hypochondriac. If I have cough, that’s it. It’s all over, it’s game over for me. I can only apologise to the GP surgery, the number of times I have gone in with something I think is terminal and it isn’t!
“When I started working in London I went through a quite difficult period where I was quite convinced I was crazy. I found life overwhelming and I really struggled and I was worried that I was losing my mind.”
A counsellor helped him deal with the intrusive thoughts of impending disaster. “Life is not always going to be perfect and sometimes you will feel strange and have doubts and fears,” he said. “I like talking about this, because people need to know that we will go through difficult times in our lives but the answer is acceptance, and that all things pass.”
Even presenting Premier League football has not been hugely positive so far this season for a Norwich City fan but Jake said: “I have moved on from worrying too much about football results on the pitch. I know that seems nonsensical because all that actually matters in football is the results but I know that behind the scenes Norwich City is moving forwards.” Of Farke he said: “I felt sadder than I thought I would but maybe it was the right time. He is my favourite ever Norwich City manager for the experience he gave us in the last few years and the adventure we all went on.”
Now Jake wants to share his own adventure, and the wisdom of some of the world’s most successful people.
“It’s about understanding the power of knowing that you are 100pc responsible for the way you react to the world around you,” he said.
“In a modern world where it is all about comparison and materialistic possessions and short-lived fame and 15 second videos on Tik Tok and Instagram, actually what really matters is having the integrity and confidence to know that just being happy is enough.
“You can be a young lad like me from a little village in Norfolk and you really can go and do whatever you want to do.”
High Performance: Lessons from the Best on Becoming Your Best by Jake Humphrey and Damian Hughes is published by Random House Business on December 9.
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