After a tortuous week of waiting Game of Thrones' long anticipated battle of Winterfell finally unfolded in a lengthy episode filled with talking points. The Night is Dark and, actually, a complete mess says our reviewer. CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS
They say 'third time's the charm', and after taking a rather painful amount of time to set the scene, the third episode of Game of Thrones' final season at last kicked the action into high gear.
After a relentless 82 minutes of practically non-stop carnage as scores of men fell to the white walker army and a couple of secondary characters were killed off, we were left with one lingering question…was that it?
After being hyped up since literally the very first scene of the first episode of season one, the white walkers clashed with the remaining heroes but thankfully they were all wearing thick plot armour so survived regardless of logic.
Game of Thrones used to be known as the television series in which nobody was safe, now it's morphed into just another predictable TV show in which the main cast scrape through any situation no matter how sticky.
Yes, there were deaths. Jorah Mormont, Beric Dondarrion and Theon Greyjoy among others all fell victim to the army of the dead but to call the fallen more than supporting members of the cast would be a stretch.
The feature length battle had moments of high intensity, such as Ayra sneaking through the Winterfell library, but the tension started to wane when it became clear that the main cast seemed destined to pull through.
Ayra, Jamie, Brienne, Sansa, Tyrion, Jon Snow and Daenerys all survived encounters that should have been fatal. Frankly towards the tail end 'The Long Night' was actually borderline insulting such was its requirement to excuse gapping plot conveniences.
The show's creators have spent significant time hyping up this battle and bragging that it's the longest battle sequence in television or film history. It might also be one of the worst shot battle sequences in history, the constant quick shots and oppressively dark colour palette made the action often indecipherable.
The Night King himself, the fabled big bad leader of the white walker army, failed to impress as well. He spent most of the episode absent and then when he did turn up his death was rushed and hardly befitting of a villain who's been afforded so much build up.
Further compounding the many issues throughout 'The Long Night' was its bloated run time. This third episode being feature-length did it absolutely no favours.
It turns out there's a reason that most movies don't contain 80-minute-long battle scenes, because without moments to breathe, the constant action loses all context and just becomes mindless.
After enduring two slow and rather disappointing episodes, this third episode was supposed to be the pay-off but instead it was an absolute mess, stuffed with hard to follow action and illogical plot points.
It made an aerial dragon fight seem dull, and I can't say anything more damning than that.
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