A dash of Robbie Williams, a row on the stairs, some carols round the tree and some complicated French braiding - Boots have captured Christmas with added hormones.

Eastern Daily Press: Mum Clare sings her heart out despite having an ingrate for a daughter in the Boots Christmas TV ad (C) BootsMum Clare sings her heart out despite having an ingrate for a daughter in the Boots Christmas TV ad (C) Boots (Image: Boots)

Boots: 'Get them something that says you get them'

* What happens? We see a snapshot of a mother/daughter relationship through the eyes of a teenager (who looks about 37) and realise The True Meaning of Christmas, which in a nutshell does not involve being a hormonal tsunami of ingratitude. We begin as Mum Clare tries to style her daughter Molly's hair in a complicated plait as the latter moans, then Mum realises that Molly has been nicking all her expensive perfume, then the teen walks in on her mother shedding a tear in front of the TV which makes her roll her eyes in disdain, then she tries to leave the house looking like a harlot and is forced to scrape off her make-up and then EPIPHANY KLAXON Molly sees her Mum singing in a choir and realises that her mother is AN ACTUAL HUMAN and not just a one-woman joy sponge. So she buys her a lipstick.

* Did it make you cry? Look, let's just get this straight, yes? My daughter is at university. I miss her. It's not a level playing field, OK?

* Actual product shots? Yes: a red lipstick bought by the formerly ungrateful teenager who has seen the error of her ways and wants her Mum to stand out from the crown at her next singing engagement.

* Would this happen in real life? ARE YOU JOKING? The thing that teenagers fear more than anything else is their parents showing them up in public. If that teenager thought her mother was SINGING in PUBLIC she would implode from shame. And the Christmas present would be a hessian sack.

* Best bit: That horrific 'Here Come the Girls' song isn't in it.

* Conclusion: It's actually quite sweet and the addition of a spin on Robbie Williams' classic She's the One (She's My Mum) is engineered to tug on our heartstrings. 'It was her, did you see, standing there, by the tree. Now I can see her: stunning and strong, she's me Mum.' Sob.