Pam Ann - Flying High
> Norwich Playhouse
Pam Ann, airline hostess and stand-up extraordinaire, has been winging her way around the globe like you wouldn't believe.
Sellout shows in Soho, television appearances with Anne Robinson . . . but it wasn't till last night that she landed right here at the Playhouse.
From the very first moment, I realised that this was not a flight for a nervous passenger like myself.
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The lifejackets, I heard, would provide no protection (although they were designed by Chanel); instead of oxygen masks there were karaoke mikes, and extra fuel above each wing ensured instant explosion in the event of light impact.
As I clutched at the seat in apprehension, Pam fed my deepest fears. Chicken flu, terrorist attacks, airline food: everything capable of causing a panic attack got a look-in.
- 1 The rise and fall of a beloved Norfolk wildlife park
- 2 Woman's life 'left in pieces' after being raped while unconscious
- 3 'One of life's gentlemen' - Neighbours describe killer's double life
- 4 'I was in tears': Dentist can keep working despite failing 13 patients
- 5 Man in 50s dies after crash between car and bicycle
- 6 Masks scrapped 'as early as next month' and over 35s jabs 'soon'
- 7 Norfolk seaside village third most sought-after in UK
- 8 Builder opens shepherd huts on site with unusual feature
- 9 Part of A47 reopens after earlier accident
- 10 Make it modern: Norfolk rectory goes up for sale after renovation
And even worse than the fear of certain death, was the sense that, sat as I was at the back of the auditorium, by Pam Ann standards I was economy class. No reclining seats for me, no champagne or tinkling ice swans.
With her white high-heeled boots and clinical blue uniform, this airline autocrat wouldn't stop till the whole audience was safely terrorised. If she were put in a real airline lounge, carbon emissions would sink by half.
A great night out for the stout of heart!