Our top TV pick: The Apprentice

Dun-duh-durrr-duh-durrr-duh-durrr-duh...unless you've been living under a rock since 2005 and have only recently emerged, you're unlikely to be able to listen to Sergei Prokofiev's Dance of the Knights without a looming image of Sir Alan Sugar invading your brain.

The Apprentice is back for a new series with a new batch of egotistical sycophants desperate to impress the Lord of Darkness and persuade him to part with a wedge of cash so they can start a new business.

Armed with wheelie suitcases, power suits and resumes packed with cringeworthy gems such as 'I'm like a shark, right at the top of the food chain. I take what I want, when I want. I truly am the reflection of perfection' and 'I pride myself on not having negative or bad traits, they're all good, they're all positive', the contestants have the kind of self-belief normally reserved for lunatics and toddlers.

Tonight, Lord Sugar – the man who we are only just forgiving for unleashing Katie Hopkins on the world –begins his latest search for a chip-off-the-old-block rough diamond to polish.

The winners of The Apprentice haven't always gone to forge long-lasting relationships with Sir Alan, but triumphing in the show can certainly give them a leg up on the entrepreneurial ladder: last year's winner Joseph Valente used his prize to expand his plumbing business, and predecessor Mark Wright launched an SEO business called Climb Online.

So who are the candidates that will be tasked with donning pinnies over their a shiny suits to flog fish fingers to stockbrokers in the City this year? It's a surefire bet that amongst their number will be a considerable number of people you'd hesitate to open a door for.

The first thing each of them did was film their taxi exit. Everyone films that at the beginning of the process so even the winner has a 'loser' scene, it's just never aired.

Expect the classic challenges to feature – a trade show, an advertising task, some kind of test which forces Lord Sugar to talk about apps and the gruelling interview stage.

• The Apprentice is on BBC1 tonight at 9pm.