Linda Smith

Sheringham Little Theatre

What a treat: Linda Smith, queen of the clever quip, came to Sheringham on Saturday night and showed once again why Radio 4 listeners recently voted her the "wittiest living person".

Like an exocet missile with gloves on, she was incisive without going for the jugular and struck at an impressive range of targets, from the UK Independence Party ("exclusively peopled by Alan Partridge lookalikes") and religion ("if God had wanted us to believe in him, he'd exist") to Argos shopping ("this is the system that brought down the Eastern bloc") and line-dancing ("a queue possessed of a demon").

She was scathing about her own home town of Erith, Kent – "a miserable dump, not even twinned with anywhere" – but we locals didn't get off without a bit of a bashing. When not actively making chutney, we're into watercolours, and try getting a cup of tea and a scone after four o'clock. Poor Delia is "the human form of beige" and oh-so-posh Burnham Market is full of black Labradors and young men like Wills and Harry with turned-up rugby shirt collars.

Linda Smith has elastic wit and charm to spare: she's the girl next door you'd love to have a few pints with; she makes you feel her confidant, her partner-in-crime; she draws you in to accompany her on those special off-road meanderings of the imagination which can lead anywhere. And she's always good for a laugh.

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