The pumpkin is still rotting on the step, the dog is still hiding from fireworks - it can only mean one thing: it's time for the Christmas TV ads. Here is what Argos has to offer.

Argos: Ready for Take Off

What happens? I have a soft spot for Argos Christmas advertisements because they don't pull any emotional punches: Argos don't imprison old men on the moon or stick dogs on trampolines, they just point out that if you want toys, they've got them. The action takes place in an Argos distribution centre where everyone has prosthetic ears and access to what look like cold weather rocket launchers. When an Argos elf discovers a robot puppy has been left behind and may not reach its intended recipient before Christmas, there's a madcap dash to prevent the ruination of December 25. Stop that rocket!

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Do you know any jokes about elves that are also relevant to people who are obsessed with grammar? Yes: What's another name for Santa's little helpers? Subordinate clauses.

Is this year's ad as good as last year's with the Rainbow Yetis on skates? Obviously not.

I thought it was Santa that delivered Christmas presents, not Argos? Shhh.

Best bit: The crash helmet with elf ears.