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New Norwich City boss Daniel Farke: the alternative 'must-do' list

Welcome to Norfolk, Daniel. Picture: Archant

Welcome to Norfolk, Daniel. Picture: Archant

Daniel Farke will get plenty of advice on what to do on the pitch - but he will need to be prepared for life outside the football bubble.

Something you'll need to remember.Something you'll need to remember.

To help him settle we thought we’d put together a little ‘to do’ list to help him settle in the Fine County.

1 Get yourself sorted at Park Farm (other hotels are available). It appears to be the place of choice for new arrivals. Alex Neil used to stay there and shared many a swim in their pool with people who were only too eager to pick up some juicy snippets of news. So beware those who get a little close...

Wymondham. Not Windem. Picture: ArchantWymondham. Not Windem. Picture: Archant

2 Sort out some transport. Ideally, your car will be black. It’s the colour of choice for many footballers in this country. Resist the temptation to black out all the windows – not allowed. Be sensible about the model – those country lanes fill up quite quickly. I hear City have a tier up with Audi, which might help.

3 Take care when selecting a permanent base. You’ll need to be within a few miles radius of Hethersett – again, generally the footballers’ choice because of its proximity to the Colney training centre, Other areas are available – everywhere you turn its beautiful, but the traffic can be a nightmare (don’t be fooled by the sight of roadworks – they are not proven yet).

4 Get yourself out and about and enjoy the Norfolk experience, but a word of warning: if you head down the A11 you will at some stage reach Suffolk. If you do, you will know it’s time to turn back.

5 You will need to pick up the lingo: may we suggest one of those smart Norfolk dialect tea towels. It will teach you what a bishy barnabee is and why you don’t want people saying your team is playing a load of old squit.

6 Now, this is very important. If, after a match, you like to relax by listening to something on the radio, beware of Canary Call. Fans giving their opinions is fine – fans not being able to pronounce names is less so. They struggled with Dieumerci Mbokani. And while Vadis was okay, Odjidja-Ofoe proved to be a bit of a struggle. Even Hughton, as in Chris, got a bit tangled now and again (see point 5 above).

7 Buy a long stick for your mobile phone, put it on the end and shout when you want to make a call. It’s the only way to get a decent signal in Norfolk.

8 Colney is a beautiful place to train but beware: amongst the greenery is a protected species. It’s called a Hoolahan. Do not disturb, do not endanger. He is a Norfolk symbol that is to be valued.

9 Learn the words to the worlds’s oldest football song, On The Ball City. Don’t be confused by things like scrimmages and a splendid rush – it will all become clear in the end.

10 Finally, if you get invited to dinner at the boss’ house, accept. She’s a dab hand in the kitchen.

Enjoy Norwich City, and good luck!

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