New Norwich City boss Daniel Farke: the alternative ‘must-do’ list

Welcome to Norfolk, Daniel. Picture: Archant

Welcome to Norfolk, Daniel. Picture: Archant

Daniel Farke will get plenty of advice on what to do on the pitch – but he will need to be prepared for life outside the football bubble.

Something you'll need to remember.

Something you'll need to remember. - Credit: Archant

To help him settle we thought we'd put together a little 'to do' list to help him settle in the Fine County.

1 Get yourself sorted at Park Farm (other hotels are available). It appears to be the place of choice for new arrivals. Alex Neil used to stay there and shared many a swim in their pool with people who were only too eager to pick up some juicy snippets of news. So beware those who get a little close...

Wymondham. Not Windem. Picture: Archant

Wymondham. Not Windem. Picture: Archant - Credit: Archant � 2008

2 Sort out some transport. Ideally, your car will be black. It's the colour of choice for many footballers in this country. Resist the temptation to black out all the windows – not allowed. Be sensible about the model – those country lanes fill up quite quickly. I hear City have a tier up with Audi, which might help.

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3 Take care when selecting a permanent base. You'll need to be within a few miles radius of Hethersett – again, generally the footballers' choice because of its proximity to the Colney training centre, Other areas are available – everywhere you turn its beautiful, but the traffic can be a nightmare (don't be fooled by the sight of roadworks – they are not proven yet).

4 Get yourself out and about and enjoy the Norfolk experience, but a word of warning: if you head down the A11 you will at some stage reach Suffolk. If you do, you will know it's time to turn back.

5 You will need to pick up the lingo: may we suggest one of those smart Norfolk dialect tea towels. It will teach you what a bishy barnabee is and why you don't want people saying your team is playing a load of old squit.

6 Now, this is very important. If, after a match, you like to relax by listening to something on the radio, beware of Canary Call. Fans giving their opinions is fine – fans not being able to pronounce names is less so. They struggled with Dieumerci Mbokani. And while Vadis was okay, Odjidja-Ofoe proved to be a bit of a struggle. Even Hughton, as in Chris, got a bit tangled now and again (see point 5 above).

7 Buy a long stick for your mobile phone, put it on the end and shout when you want to make a call. It's the only way to get a decent signal in Norfolk.

8 Colney is a beautiful place to train but beware: amongst the greenery is a protected species. It's called a Hoolahan. Do not disturb, do not endanger. He is a Norfolk symbol that is to be valued.

9 Learn the words to the worlds's oldest football song, On The Ball City. Don't be confused by things like scrimmages and a splendid rush – it will all become clear in the end.

10 Finally, if you get invited to dinner at the boss' house, accept. She's a dab hand in the kitchen.

Enjoy Norwich City, and good luck!

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