This arrived in the post this week with a kind request to pass it on…
Dear Mrs Naismith,
First off, welcome to Norfolk. I'd welcome you and your husband to the fine city but, frankly, there are tens of thousands of other waiting to do that (this afternoon, hopefully).
To be honest, a few of us weren't sure you would make it, what with all the rumours.
I'm not one to gossip, but some people were saying you wanted to be closer to your Scottish roots.
If it helps, I've had a look around and it seems you can get trains and even planes to Scotland from Norwich, although the new roadworks in the city centre are a right pest so I'd advise using the ring road. And it's not as long a trip as you'd think – the tractors can slow you down, but now we've got another bit of dual carriageway it's easy to get down to the coast.
We've got everything you need around here – lovely places to go, lovely places to eat – and we make sure all the good chefs are actually Norwich City fans, so you won't have a problem with the food on match days either.
As for settling in, well, I think you'll fall in love with the place. Don't listen to that stuff about Norfolk being too far out of the way, that's all tosh.
I hear you're a dentist – if you're thinking of setting up in business you'll be richer than those footballers, the state of some of the teeth I see. It beggars belief. And if the old man is as good as he's cracked up to be, you won't want to leave.
We do that around here – we keep hold of our favourites. You'll bump into Hucks (Darren Huckerby) – he can't get the place out of his blood. And big Iwan (Roberts), he's still local (sadly for you, his teeth were sorted out long ago).
Grant Holt was a god around here (still is if truth be known) – he left but now he's back (and everyone said he left because his wife couldn't settle – shows you what they know).
Dean Ashton's here, Adam Drury isn't far away. You ask them – they love it. And we love them. Word has it that your hubby is what my youngest calls a real gem off the pitch, very charitable and things like that.
We have a jumble every other week so I'll let you know where and when so you can both pop along for tea and biscuits and leave a couple of old shirts.
Lots of love
A fan
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules here