‘I have to watch you deteriorate’ - Norfolk mum’s moving words on life with a terminally ill son
- Credit: Copyright: Archant 2018
Norfolk mother Kyra Welch writes about her experiences with her terminally ill son Kaiden Griffin. Kaiden, who grew up in North Creake, near Fakenham, and now lives in Holt, has a Congenital Heart Defect...
To my child with the broken heart, I'm sorry.
What I went through in loving you, broke me as a person.
For the past five and a half years I've watched you grow, grow into this beautiful young person.
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But while you were growing all I could see was the deterioration, I've seen the once pink colour in your cheeks fade to a bleak white, I've watched the blue colour spread across your body so now every time I look at you all I can see is this illness.
This illness that invaded your life before you were even born.
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I've watched you break down because you can't do things normal children can, I've had to deal with the tears and the arguments, you calling me a horrible mum because I wouldn't let you do things when in reality I was trying to save you.
I was trying to save you from yourself.
I've had to deal with the judgemental comments from people because I chose to let you lead a normal life.
Your illness hasn't only destroyed your life, it destroyed mine too.
I learnt to live in constant fear of death, I learnt that no matter how much I love you and how much I do to protect you this is the one thing no matter how hard I try I'll never be able to protect you from, and knowing this is what broke me.
As a mother I have to sit and watch the one thing I love more than life itself deteriorate right in front of me knowing there's nothing in this world I can do.