Dad jokes (episode four) to help lift the spirits in tough times
- Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto
Well we’ve got to week four and hopefully you’re still finding these Dad jokes helpful in putting a smile on your face.
Thanks for the nice feedback - and the gags you’ve shared.
So here goes with episode four.......
Day 17 of lockdown and I’ve finally run out of deodorant and shower gel. It’s time to open....The Lynx Africa gift set from Christmas.
Apparently Dire Straits have loads of Easter decorations this year. I heard they got their bunnies for nothing and their chicks for free.
You may also want to watch:
My mate lost his job as a dermatologist. He got handed his E45.
I promised my wife a trip to see the Northern lights but she was a bit disappointed. Personally I don’t see what’s wrong with the traffic lights at the A629 junction in Huddersfield.
- 1 Couple sell 'amazing' converted water mill after two-year renovation
- 2 Robbie Savage: 'Never mind Stuart Webber, it's all down to me'
- 3 Emergency services dealing with incident at inflatable on beach
- 4 Third time lucky for historic pub's reopening
- 5 Norwich pub's shock after city council refuse outdoor seating bid
- 6 Royal Mail postboxes stolen from villages
- 7 Woman died after crash on way to visit mother's grave
- 8 'We haven't slept': Primark shoppers queue outside city store from 3am
- 9 Extinction Rebellion protesters arrested for smashing Barclays windows
- 10 Dog ban on popular north Norfolk beaches extended
My doctor told me to drink a bottle of wine after a hot bath, but I couldn’t even finish drinking the hot bath.
Just had a call from a bloke I know. He said: “My wife’s run off with the milkman and I do miss him.”
My computer asked for an eight character password, I suggested Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs but was declined.
The Spanish King has been quarantined on his private jet. This means that the reign in Spain will stay mainly on the plane.
My mate works in Tesco in the fabric softener aisle but he’s just been moved to wines and spirits. He’s now way out of his Comfort zone.
I went to the doctor and said: “Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.” He said: “How long have you felt like this?” I replied: “Ever since I was a kid....”
People say I’m a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.
I recently switched all the labels on my wife’s spice rack. She hasn’t realised yet, but the thyme is cumin.
Instead of a swear jar, a guy I work with has a negativity jar. Every time hed has pessimistic thoughts, he puts a penny in. It’s currently half empty.
I keep thinking about Mickey Mouse, then I fall over. I think I’m having Disney spells.
Breaking news: Two people found sunbathing in northern Scotland today have tested positive for hypothermia.
Vauxhall Corsa for sale. Very economical. Currently getting three weeks a gallon.
What kind of magazines do cows read? Cattlelogs.
I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said: “How flexible are you?” I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
I finally managed to get a delivery slot for my online shopping, so I’ve ordered turkey, sprouts, Christmas cake, crackers and a pudding.
And finally, more lockdown day 17 news. The cat has just asked me if I wanted the radio left on while he went out.
If you missed the previous list of jokes here they are: Number one