A former nurse fears she will never be able to see her 91-year-old mother again in a care home unless rules are changed to allow for safe family visits.
Tracey Blazey, 62, from Westacre Drive, Old Catton, is part of national action group Rights for Residents, which was set up in the first lockdown.
It has 4,700 members and is calling for the government to pass emergency laws to allow one nominated family carer to be able to visit a loved one in care homes, while wearing PPE and having access to lateral flow tests.
Ms Blazey, who retired as a community learning disability nurse seven years ago, said relatives were prepared to self-isolate and take necessary precautions.
She and other group members believed many relatives were often less likely to bring in the virus compared to paid-for carers.
Although Ms Blazey did not blame staff, she said people within care companies and local authorities should "stick their heads above the parapet" to think of creative ways to allow nominated family visits.
Her mother, Lilian Bradford, 91, a former City College Norwich cook who has lived in Norwich for most of her life, has vascular dementia and lives at Mayflower Court care home in Bowthorpe, run by NorseCare.
She said: "I'm lucky that I can talk to mum on the phone but we have the same conversation every day telling her I cannot come in. When I come off the phone I suspect I'm more upset than she is because of her short-term memory. We know it has been a year since we properly visited but to her the timescale is vey short.
"I'm angry and frustrated because family members cannot get through the red tape. I fear the chances are that if we don't get this legislation past I won't get to see her anymore.
"That has already happened to thousands of people and it might happen to thousands more.
"I'm not criticising the home. Relatives are appreciative of what they have done. It is not easy."
Ms Blazey, who joined the action group two months ago, said at the start of the lockdown it was understandable that visits to care home providers were stopped because less was known about coronavirus.
But she added there were measures which could be implemented to make visits safe, including more individual risk assessments, and said relatives could take the pressure off staff by carrying out jobs, including feeding residents, which was often the case before the pandemic.
Ms Blazey said some care homes had put in protocols to allow family visits but this was not the case in other places.
She described her mother as a matriarch who "pulled the family together" and before the March lockdown she would receive three-five visits a week from her daughter and two sons.
After lockdown measures were brought in Ms Blazey has been allowed to see her mother four times in the summer in a tent and once in her room after Christmas after an alleged assault, a case which was dropped.
"Our visits were her life," Ms Blazey said. "My mum's diary showing when people were next visiting kept her going. She has deteriorated. It is heartbreaking.
"For people with dementia, family carers are the only contact they have to their past. My mum cannot remember what she had for lunch but if I take photos it jolts her mind. We are that link. Some care home residents feel abandoned."
According to Ms Blazey, her mother, who was born in Lowestoft, does not recognise some of her seven grandchildren and five great-grandchildren, which upsets her seven-year-old great-grandson Isaac.
A spokesman for NorseCare said: "Care providers fully appreciate the huge difficulties this situation has brought for care home residents and the impact it has had on their families, particularly in relation visits with loved ones.
"Safe visiting remains one of our highest priorities, and within NorseCare we have continued to follow Government guidelines about safely supporting visits wherever and whenever possible.
"Over the past 10 months this advice has changed many times, but we have always aimed to be flexible and safe, responding to the most current, up to date safety advice.
"We regard as equally important the physical safety and emotional wellbeing of our residents, and their families and staff do their very best to support people in every way they can."
"We are all responding to a challenging and ever-developing situation, supporting some of the most vulnerable people at greatest risk from the worst effects of coronavirus, and the variant strains.
"Outside of national lockdowns, there have also been periods where have been advised to temporarily halt visits inside our homes due to local advice regarding risks from the virus circulating in the local areas.
"And, if a care home is itself in ‘outbreak’ – with one or more positive cases - then again, visiting must be temporarily stopped.
"Unfortunately, these situations have both affected Mayflower at different points which has meant we haven’t always been able to offer visits.
"Whenever it has been possible, with Government advice in mind, indoor and outdoor visits have taken place there. These have been fairly and equally shared among all residents and families, as they have to be supported and staffed visits.
"Whatever status a home is in, staff will consider, on a case by case basis, any exceptional individual circumstances such as end of life care, or the need to agree a visit at short notice, out of hours, or on compassionate grounds.
"With the roll-out of the vaccine now taking place – including at Mayflower last week – we sincerely hope it will offer our residents, tenants and staff a crucial additional layer of protection and that, eventually, we can all plot a route back to normality.
Bill Borrett, cabinet member for adult social care, said “I absolutely recognise the stress, anxiety and difficulties of families being separated because of the COVID lockdown, and the importance of relatives being able to visit family members in care settings. It’s such an important part of wellbeing.
"Of course, we would encourage care homes to allow visits in exceptional circumstances (particularly where people are very unwell or dying), and in line with general COVID-19 guidance regarding visiting. What we must do is protect vulnerable people, get care staff and family carers vaccinated as soon as possible, and ask everyone in the community to comply with COVID-19 lockdown rules, so that we can interrupt the spread of the outbreaks that are having such a terrible impact on families.”
Raj Sehgal, managing director of Armscare Ltd, which operates four Norfolk care homes, said: "We would welcome any workable solution that allows designated visitors into the home to see their loved ones. But much depends not just on legislation but also on how the government decides to indemnify care providers in the event of an outbreak and third party claims for potential loss of life and illness due to visiting being opened up to people who we have no control over.
"On one side the government is saying that we should act like everyone has the virus and on the other, we are trying to open up the most vulnerable and highest risk people to have direct contact.
"The restrictions were designed to ensure minimal contact and hopefully these will begin to ease shortly and we can begin to return towards some form of a new normal."
Jerome Mayhew, Conservative MP for Broadland, said: "Every care home should allow family visits if at all possible. They are vital for mental wellbeing for residents and family members alike. But, at the same time, care homes are doing all that they can to keep Covid-19 out.
"For the very few that prohibit all visits they need to explain why it is that they are unable to manage the risk in the way that other homes have."
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