Dad jokes chapter 29: Some crackers for your Christmas bubble

Rupert the cocker spaniel looking cute in a santa hat

Rupert the cocker spaniel looking cute in a santa hat - Credit: Alix Pamela Shaw

'Tis difficult to be jolly as things are so tough this Christmas - but we hope these Dad jokes will help put some smiles on faces.

Yes, they're cheesy. Yes, they groan-worthy. 

Despite that, enjoy them and keep smiling! Happy Christmas.

What position does Father Christmas play in the football team? Santa Forward.

Santa's Grotto at The Forum in Norwich. Pictured with Santa Woof Woof is Troy. Picture: Ian Burt

Santa's Grotto at The Forum in Norwich. Pictured with Santa Woof Woof is Troy. Picture: Ian Burt - Credit: Ian Burt

Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners? Rude-olph.


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What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards.

What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show.

Ho, ho, ho - it's time for a Dad joke

Ho, ho, ho - it's time for a Dad joke - Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

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Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care.

How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments.

Christmas 2020 will certainly feel different - and will be reflected in the tone of Christmas cards.

Christmas 2020 will certainly feel different - and will be reflected in the tone of Christmas cards. But keeping in touch with cards, phone calls and over the internet will be the most important part for many people, says Helen McDermott. Picture: Getty Images - Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas? Noël Coward.

Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws.

Who is a Christmas tree’s favourite singer? Spruce Springsteen.

What do you call buying a piano for the holidays? Christmas Chopin.

Just had a text from my mate. He said: "The wife wanted an iPhone or iPad for Christmas... They seemed expensive so I settled for an iRon."

What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy? "Elk"-a-seltzer.

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws.

Why did John Lennon never eat sprouts at Christmas? He wanted to give peas a chance.

What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? A mistle-toad.

Putting his Christmas tree up early is an act of defiance against 2020, says James. Picture: Getty I

Putting his Christmas tree up early is an act of defiance against 2020, says James. Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto - Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Santa got fed with his attitude and put Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay and no one bid for them,  because they were two deer.

You know Santa is coming when you here elf-is Presley singing.

Do not worry, you know when Santa’s around as you can always sense his presents.



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