Dad jokes chapter 29: Some crackers for your Christmas bubble
- Credit: Alix Pamela Shaw
'Tis difficult to be jolly as things are so tough this Christmas - but we hope these Dad jokes will help put some smiles on faces.
Yes, they're cheesy. Yes, they groan-worthy.
Despite that, enjoy them and keep smiling! Happy Christmas.
What position does Father Christmas play in the football team? Santa Forward.
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners? Rude-olph.
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What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards.
What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show.
- 1 Person pulled from car as rain lashes region
- 2 Road closed due to accident after car reportedly flips on to its roof
- 3 Teenager who lost driving licence receives surprise in post
- 4 Seven fire engines called to blaze on housing estate
- 5 ‘It went up like a matchstick’ - Neighbour’s horror at blaze
- 6 Dad's heartache over daughter's suicide and his fight to help others
- 7 7 of the prettiest streets in Norfolk
- 8 Rovers return? New landlords relaunch village pub with parties and Sunday lunches for dogs
- 9 Caroline Flack's mum to open 'grief café' in Norfolk
- 10 Huge blast proof bunker with acre of land for sale by auction
Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care.
How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments.
Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas? Noël Coward.
Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws.
Who is a Christmas tree’s favourite singer? Spruce Springsteen.
What do you call buying a piano for the holidays? Christmas Chopin.
Just had a text from my mate. He said: "The wife wanted an iPhone or iPad for Christmas... They seemed expensive so I settled for an iRon."
What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy? "Elk"-a-seltzer.
What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws.
Why did John Lennon never eat sprouts at Christmas? He wanted to give peas a chance.
What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? A mistle-toad.
Santa got fed with his attitude and put Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay and no one bid for them, because they were two deer.
You know Santa is coming when you here elf-is Presley singing.
Do not worry, you know when Santa’s around as you can always sense his presents.