The seven tribes of Norfolk - which one are you?
PUBLISHED: 16:51 15 January 2020 | UPDATED: 10:44 16 January 2020
© ARCHANT NORFOLK 2016
Norfolk may be renowned for being flat - but its characters certainly aren't. Here is an imagined, light-hearted guide to the tribes you might find across our county.
1. Latte Louts in the Golden Triangle
Everything you own is prefixed with artisan - even your socks. Though you work as a lecturer, a graphic designer or in the craft beer industry you run an independent publishing business from your front room as a side hustle. All work is completed with a Colombian roast coffee - but cow's milk is the mortal enemy.
2. Chipsters in Great Yarmouth
Your allegiance to the market is like no other. Even in hail storms and snow you will make your daily lunch time pilgrimage to one of the chip stalls and chow down a chip butty. If anyone dares to suggest a grabbing a sandwich you shudder and point them in the direction of a chip cone.
3. Beet Boxers in Reedham
While there are a lot of farms in Norfolk, none top sugar beet harvesting in your eyes. The only measurement you use is yields - even at the pub - and you often wonder why combine harvesters aren't a common method of transportation.
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4. The Tweed and Twinsets in Holt
Afternoon tea is not an indulgence, but one of your five a day. Otherwise you follow a strict diet of fresh Cromer crab and Norfolk samphire. Days are whiled away perusing boutique shops on the High Street, with an occasional pit stop at an antique store.
5. The Secret Londoner in Burnham Market
Sssh - you don't tell anyone you're not actually from Norfolk, but spend two days a week here in your second home. In spring, your calendar is blocked out with the event of the year - the Burnham Market International Horse Trials - even though you don't own a horse and don't know how to ride one.
6. Boat Bhoys in Wroxham
Boating on the Broads is not just for tourists - it's a way of life. The thought of teenagers going on a booze cruise brings you out in hives, not least because it's ale or the waterway. If anyone suggests Wroxham Barns, you say 'but where is the mooring?'
7. Nham Vets in Fakenham
If you only drink at The Bull and go every week to the market, you are Fakenham through and through. Even though it was in the 1990s, you never got over national headlines claiming Fakenham was the most boring place to live in the UK and wax lyrical about the Racecourse and the Museum of Gas and Local History to any remaining non-believers.