The secret transfer deadline day diary of David Powles, aged 34 and a quarter ...
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The alarm was set for 6.30am, but I don't need it as I'm wide awake already. It's transfer deadline day after all, probably the joint second best day of the year. First is Christmas Day, the fellow joint-second? The other transfer deadline day of course.
It's hard to work out why I've grown such a fondness for it or where it started. After all, as a Norwich fan it's hardly a day that evokes fantastic memories.
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But, much like Christmas Day itself, there's always the hope that this year will be different. That after year upon year of nothing more than socks, boxer shorts and those pointless shower gel and deodorant packs, this time a gleaming Ferrari will be wrapped up in the drive.
Of course, that's how I felt 12 months ago when the Ferrari turned out in fact to be Harry Kane - a Skoda of a player.
- 1 'An insult to the city': Couple ditch 'hellhole' hotel after 45 minutes
- 2 Hundreds give amazing send-off to well-loved supermarket worker
- 3 Former Norwich boxing champion banned from contacting ex-partner
- 4 Revealed: Norfolk's hotspots for Japanese Knotweed in 2021
- 5 Road cleared after overturned lorry on A47/A11 Thickthorn roundabout
- 6 Tractors and harvesters sold as farming family retires after 100 years
- 7 New Lidl stores to open in Norfolk and Waveney in £1.3bn expansion
- 8 Man arrested on suspicion of murder after woman found dead in flat
- 9 Air ambulance called to person's aid in Dereham
- 10 Matt Hancock faces calls to resign after allegation of affair with aide
When I'm not working I'll want to be following all of the deadline day news, a hearty breakfast needed to keep me going. I've gone for five (FIVE) Weetabix. They're hard to break down (the Weetabix not Norwich), which is fine as it gives me time to ponder over the next 16 hours and what it could mean for Norwich City.
I'm expecting more to go out than stay in. Though of course with the loan window closing next week there's no guarantee all deals need to be done by 11pm.
There's surely no future at the club for Daniel Ayala or David Fox? Jacob Butterfield seems surplus to requirements. The other potential departure could be Luciano Becchio, which would be a shame because he's never really been given a chance to show city fans what he can do.
How nice to be able to enjoy the day without real fear of one of our star players being amongst those poached. Even if they were, I'd be confident we'd have some international foreign star waiting in the wings.
In terms of potential incomers I'm feeling fairly relaxed. One look at the bench for Saturday's game against Southampton shows Norwich has real strength in depth.
Not that I'd say no to another winger to cove the gap left by Elliott Bennett or even a top-quality centre back to rival Sebastien Bassong and Michael Turner. As highly as I regard Ryan Bennett and Russell Martin, that's the next area to be strengthened.
I've had a text message from a friend, inviting me to a transfer deadline day party. Watch the deals roll in with beer and pizza. There's a sure fire sign that this is becoming one of the key days in the football season. Can't remember the last time someone invited me over to watch a game. Perhaps there should be 38 transfer deadline days in a Premier League season and just two games? Alas, I can't go. If I'm surrounded by loads of people talking how can I keep on top of what's happening on the telly, twitter, PinkUn.com and all of the live blogs? I've given the wife a 'do not disturb' warning for the evening, same has to go for friends.
It's quiet , too quiet. Rumours are Kei Kamara's in the UK talking to Middlesbrough, this sparks a flurry of calls from some fans for Norwich to get involved. As much as I loved his attitude and his back story, the club's already moved on from when Kei was at the club last season.
A late lunch and a bit of time to catch up on what's been happening. Hope no-one at work notices I've got six tabs open on my desktop computer - four of them are transfer deadline day blogs. The other two are property websites, been hunting for a new home again.
In fact, moving house is much like transfer deadline day when you think about it. Norwich are being linked to West Ham's Ricardo Vaz Te, but only if West Ham sign a replacement and Becchio goes to Middlesbrough. They probably have to sell to buy him and so the chain goes on until the deals happen or someone is gazumped.
Vaz Te – hardly evokes wild excitement. I presume he'd be cover up top and down the right as well, a position said he's not keen on.
I'm more excited by the other rumour, of a loan deal for Stoke's Michael Kightly. A strong, pacy, direct and talented winger who could do a good job.
Is it warming up at last?
It's gone quiet again. I'm thinking of putting a big curly wig on and heading down to Carrow Road. See if I can start some rumours we've signed Marouane Fellaini. It will be on Twitter in seconds, especially if I hang around Asda in Hellesdon as well.
I should have guessed not much would happen, Sky Sports News haven't even got a reporter outside Carrow Road. Anyone would think the fans had form for misbehaving when they turn up. Must go on YouTube later and watch that video again.
West Brom striker Shane Long is off to Hull. A year ago I would have been gutted, I'm a big fan of his and he always seems to cause our defence all sorts of problems. Now, however, Norwich don't need him. Perhaps in a few months, when Hull are relegated, we can step in to keep Long in the Premier League to replace Johan Elmander.
Back at home and killing a bit of time playing 'Jim White Bingo'. A betting firm is offering odds on which clichés the sky presenter will utter. They include 'the clock is ticking', 'put pen to paper', 'this just in', 'last minute business and 'I have just spoken to on the phone'.
Some of my own include repeated pictures of Big Ben along with references to 'counting down' to 11pm, 'i's dotted and t's crossed', the phrase 'I understand' being used by reporters when what they really mean is someone's just said on Twitter and lots of meaningless talk to cover the fact that actually nothing very much is happening at all.
Still no news from Carrow Road and no matter how many times I refresh the news pages of the official club website it won't deviate from an under 21s match report. I've reached that stage on Christmas Day when the champagne wears off, the indigestion kicks in and you accept the family haven't kept the best present back as a special surprise. Next comes regret and guilt. Why have I wasted another day like this? When will I learn?
That's that then. Chief executive David McNally confirms there will be no incoming business today. But why don't I quite believe him? I'm either an eternal optimist or just deluded. Sometimes there's a fine line. I'm staying tuned.
The transfer window SLAMS SHUT. Why does it always have to slam shut? What's wrong with closing it like any normal window? That's Premier League hyperbole for you. Sixteen and a bit hours since the day began and nothing's really changed. Butterfield's left but we won't miss him. At least at Christmas you can bank on some new socks.
It's hard to be too disappointed however, we've done some fantastic business in the last few months and it's better for the club to be run by people who get the hard work done early doors, in pre-season, giving players a chance to bed in, rather than at the last-minute.
At least I've got the game this weekend to look forward to.
Oh, you're kidding, a flipping international break.