The tidal wave of marketing for Mother's Day started many weeks ago, but the full impact has come in the last few weeks when it feels like it is hitting you on every front – from emails at your desk to every shop you walk into.

If you are celebrating this annual event with your mother you may not have noticed the marketing assault on the emotions.

Last year was the first time I had to face the event without my own dear mother and it hit me so very hard as it just felt the promotion for it was everywhere I turned. I spoke to friends who had lost their mother before me and many said just how hard they find the day. In fact several said they found it harder than Christmas and birthdays as there was so much build-up.

Mothering Sunday, which is what is was originally called before the marketers took hold of it, is a Christian holiday celebrated in many parts of Europe. It falls on the fourth Sunday in Lent and it became the day when people honoured mothers and gave them presents.

But this is no modern promotion for retail sales, the actual day dates back to the 16th century when people returned to their mother church for a service to be held on Laetare Sunday. In later times, Mothering Sunday became known as a day when domestic servants were allowed a rare day off to visit their mothers.

It was said that children would pick wild flowers along the way to place in their local church or to give to their mother. There are also associations with this date and simnel cakes as they were baked to mark the reuniting of families during the austere time of Lent.

It is a time when you can really show how much you appreciate your mother and take time out to treat her to a gift or perhaps a meal out. In this busy and demanding life it is too easy to sometimes take a mother for granted when they help out with babysitting, school runs and many other forms of support.

But do find the time to think about what would really make their day rather than just spending large amounts of money on flowers and other gifts. Often they just would wish you to sit down and spend real time with them, particularly when they can have you to themselves without sharing you with anyone else.

If, because of your own family commitments, you cannot do the actual day then make time another day to spend those special hours with your mother and thank her for being there for you.

My mother supported all of us in my family and beyond with her five grandsons whom she adored. But I know the large hole she also left in our family and that first Mother's Day last year was a hard one to get though.

I am not expecting this year's to be a whole lot easier but I will try to concentrate on the wonderful time we had rather than focusing on what I have lost.

I would urge people to make space for some special time this year and really cherish their mother. Too many people only realise just how special they are when they have gone and it is too late.

Mary Rudd is a PR consultant, a Lay Canon of Norwich Cathedral and a Trustee of several Norfolk charities.