Bad behaviour isn’t inherent in us.

We’re not born with fundamental unkindness or even a low-level misunderstanding of what’s right and wrong.

We’re taught those things subtly as we grow.

In recent years, perhaps with the voice social media gives us in masses, and not just a select few, we’ve grown to understand certain behaviours, ones we’d perhaps not thought about because there was nothing inviting us to do so, are actually not the right way.

As a result of these loud conversations on line we’ve been changing. For the better.

If we’re shown it’s ok to segregate because of sex, or displayed prominently, yet ordinarily, that we can judge others to be lowly because of skin colour, dress or anything else, then our reactions become ingrained behaviour we see as normal.

We don’t question and when others have, in recent years, sometimes it’s that which we question instead because it’s gone against all we know – we like what we know, and we know what we like.

Thankfully the worm is turning though, and slowly we’re educating and being educated so that better things become the norm with more acceptable behaviours brought in as the unquestioned.

We are now noticing television, entertainment, comedy and looking over our shoulders at scripts we once didn’t give a second thought to but now, understand lots wasn’t right with.

That’s moving onwards and upwards in life and while I do think it’s easy to criticise everything, which can dilute the important messages, it’s incredibly necessary to look deeply and give consideration to things we are showing children especially, so that they grow up with different and more inclusive mindsets.

Teaching good behaviour through the things children see and are entertained by, as well as how to laugh at themselves and with, but not at, others is such a good place to start.

Fundamentally, we’ll get it right if we do that. Children of today shouldn’t grow to be adults of tomorrow not understanding what can be offensive, what should be treated sensitively, why and what’s funny – and also with the ability to question what they see rather than simply accepting.

Change the pattern of learned behaviour and that’s when the magic happens, always opening doors to investigate and discuss if something doesn’t feel quite right.

I went to a children’s show a couple of years ago by local to Norfolk company All In Productions.

They offer children’s theatre which is immersive and fun and a wonderful way to introduce smaller children to live performance. Afterwards I criticised them on their direct portrayal of a Grimm’s fairy tale which saw a child of 15 looking for a husband to marry. Now, whether looking for a husband to marry is the be all and end all of life wasn’t my issue at the time, though it’s certainly something I later thought could also be a problem, but the fact they were showing an underage girl looking to get married.

They changed it, immediately and that’s what it’s about. Not challenging something just because that’s the way it’s always been sends the wrong messages.

It’s easy to overlook, not see even, but once we know we need to make changes so that in future the same things are never a problem.

This past week I attended another of All In’s shows, their My First Panto: Cinderella Rocks, at the Garage in Norwich.

When I spoke to the creatives afterwards they said this time, though it was still the same immersive theatre experience they’ve always promoted for smaller children, they wanted to do it better. They asked the question of themselves, why accept an age-old story with flaws we now know we can change for the better?

So they did! In this version Cinderella is a rock star, her sisters are only ugly in personality and there isn’t a man dressed as a woman to be pointed and laughed at because, actually, that’s quite offensive – if not to you, then to someone else, and the compromising of those who would find it uncomfortable isn’t necessary for the good.

Cinders, or Ella, as she is in this production, isn’t looking for a husband but instead to find her career dream a reality, and the show is wonderful.

Children don’t notice this fairy tale has changed with the times, they’re all brand new, this is the first time they’ve heard it. When they see a girl being unkind they boo because of that, not because she isn’t pretty!

It’s empowering with nuances the children won’t even question and when they leave, those things are the normal now. We don’t lose any of the fun of a traditional panto, we just move on and up.

A story of hope, with lots of laughter and merriment is all the kids need, and yet without even trying they will leave the theatre with a powerful message ingrained in them as to this is how life is. As it should be.

The other stuff from panto stories past, the stuff sending the wrong messages for learned behaviour? It’s as behind you as the mice on the stage helping Ella find her dream!

And lastly, to those who will certainly react to this article with an angry “Well, panto is MEANT to have a Dame and it’s MEANT to be this, that, the other…” – You Sir, you Madam, you all, you’ve missed my point.

You’re the lost cause, I’m not trying to reach you, children are the future while you are very much the past.

I don’t know about anyone else but if I was stuck back there I’d be sure as heavens trying to claw my way back out! You don’t have to be unreachable, we are made to bend, so go see the show, you’re never too old to learn a new trick.

*My First Panto is on at The Garage in Norwich until January 16 with some selected dates at their venue in King's Lynn.