Things you really ought to know about wheelchair users

I have been a wheelchair user for nearly all my life, and before that I was in a push chair, so I have quite a lot of experience with the misconceptions and the little things people do that irritate wheelchair users.

One of the common things people tend to do without realising is staring. This is most common with small children, which I can understand as five year olds probably haven't seen many wheelchairs. I sometimes even find it cute because they are just curious and haven't found any other way of expressing it.

However, as soon as teenagers and adults start this hobby, this is when it gets offensive. It also makes you seem poorly educated as you really ought to know better. Come on people, I mean it's only a wheelchair! How would you feel if you had broken your arm or something and people kept staring at you? It would lower your self-esteem.

The most annoying thing you could possibly do to a wheelchair user is come up behind them and start pushing or moving them. Don't get me wrong, it is nice to have someone pushing/moving you, but under the right circumstances. Please ask! We will probably say yes, but by asking you are giving us the option to decline.

I don't know if I speak for everyone when I say this but, I get paranoid when someone moves me as I know they are not as experienced as me and therefore there is a very high chance that someone's toes will get squashed.

This one is a hard one because I have heard different attitudes to this. I'm talking about help! I am quite a confident person so I feel comfortable asking for help myself, but some people are more shy and therefore might need you to ask them if they need help. There is a very fine line, because on one hand we might be relieved that you came and asked but on the other hand we could be offended that you assume we are incapable just because we sit in a wheelchair.

If you are a friend of a wheelchair user you probably are aware of what they are like in which case, you will be fine. However, if you are a stranger, just be a bit curious. Sorry!

Please don't pity or underestimate us. There is nothing worse then someone going up to us and saying 'don't do that, you could fall and hurt your self. I am so sorry that you're in a wheelchair, that must be so hard for you'. Firstly, yes, I could fall and hurt myself but so does everyone so what is your point. Secondly, it was hard, but I got over it, you should too. I don't understand why some people think wheelchair users are made out of glass. When people pity us it's like saying to someone that it's not good to be different.

Just treat us the same as everyone else and if you're friends then you could maybe have a bit of banter about their disability as this proves you're very comfortable with them.

Linking in to this is the very poignant message that we are not 'inspirational' when we achieve everyday things. If we have climbed Mount Everest then yes, you can call us inspirational but if we just go to the local shop to get our weekly shopping done then, that's not inspirational. It as if you ate at a café on your lunch break and someone came up to you and said 'you're SO inspirational to have lunch on your own'. I realise you're just trying to be kind, but please just think before you speak.

I'm sure there are more, this is just a taster. I hope this has been useful for you. Now you can spread the message. Let's make Norfolk a positive environment where everyone is treated equally.