Children now status symbols to yummies
LORNA MARSH Parenting it seems is the new black. Gone are cooking, home improvement and gardening the fashionable topic of talk among the chattering classes and the subject of television makeovers now is how little Tarquin and Tamsin are doing with the violin and baby signing.
Parenting it seems is the new black. Gone are cooking, home improvement and gardening the fashionable topic of talk among the chattering classes and the subject of television makeovers now is how little Tarquin and Tamsin are doing with the violin and baby signing.
Ironic really because black is the least practical colour when the likelihood of baby sick on your shoulders still rides high.
And with this new 'fashion' comes the necessary accoutrements of being a 'yummy mummy' or 'dishy dad', both of which sound horribly naff already.
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But if being a 'yummy' is your priority goal in life, still lying just beyond grasp behind the pile of washing-up, help is at hand with the launch of a new book, the Yummy Mummy Survival Guide by Liz Fraser, herself the epitome of yummyness. There's nothing like too much self-awareness.
Unfortunately yummies simply remind me of the horrible Grace-from-Big Brother superior type girls at school so forgive me if I sound a little harsh about some of lovely Liz's, er, tips.
- 1 'It's not even that short' - schoolboy, 14, put in isolation due to haircut
- 2 'Red-and-white spray paint doesn't count' - three danger lorries stopped
- 3 Norfolk man found drunk at wheel twice in less than a month
- 4 Norfolk set for dry week with temperatures to rise
- 5 Nick Knowles joins outcry as Norfolk police told to close Twitter accounts
- 6 'Second time this year' - Armed police called to Norwich street
- 7 Why your phone might warn you of a 'terror attack' today
- 8 Hundreds flock to see exotic birds in Yarmouth bushes
- 9 Fresh calls for action over 'unacceptable' queues at A11 roundabout
- 10 Two Norfolk restaurants in top five 'secret' places to eat on English coast
While celebrating life beyond the strict parameters of parenthood is to be welcomed with open arms, once they are free of babies and ironing, it seems that Liz and her ilk see their offspring nearly as much as status symbols and the means to outdo the Joneses as their beloved family.
I'm sure Liz is a great parent but giving other mums tips on how to survive that first day at school such as not setting the fashion bar too high in case you can't keep it up and doing a dummy run the day before then giving yourself an extra 10 minutes seems to be somewhat missing the point. Especially when she caps it off with “don't take it too seriously”. Ok then!
Now new research has shown that parents are even using their children's lunchboxes to outdo one another - packing sushi, salmon and ciabatta, in place of sausage rolls and ham sandwiches, at a cost of £2bn a year, with many admitting that pressure to provide the latest food fads is behind the midday revolution . I'm sure the other parents are impressed even if their children aren't.
Last year's symbol of yumminess - flat camel suede Ugg boots - were so prevalent among the yummies in the media that it was hard to suppress mirth at the glaring stereotype when seen in real life.
Never has there been so much pressure on mums to look not just glamorous but pristinely gorgeous and appropriately dressed for every occasion from dropping their offspring off at the school gate to a dinner party with fellow yummy, dishy couples.
Which is all well and good but how bizarre that it is the first scenario, not the latter, that seems to offer the biggest minefield.
The Elle Macpherson wannabes must find it difficult to know exactly what clothes to wear to project elegance while still looking like they were flung on without a second thought and apply the optimum level of make-up to create polish without being obvious.
It's so much easier when your focus is dressing for the office you have to rush to once the dear ones are dropped off. Not that I'm bitter.