Teachers deftly park their charges row by row, as curtain up ticks closer and King's Lynn's Alive Corn Exchange fills with the best part of 500 excited children.

Eastern Daily Press: Simple Simon (Scott Cripps) performing in pantomime, Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian BurtSimple Simon (Scott Cripps) performing in pantomime, Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian Burt (Image: Archant 2017)

Then BOOF! A pink fairy appears in a puff of smoke, screaming: 'He-e-e-ll-o-o-o, he-e-e-ll-o-o-o.'

With a wave of her wand, the music starts, the front rows become a sea of bobbing heads and writhing arms and we're off.

Jack and the Beanstalk keeps them clapping, singing, boo-ing and yelling 'behind you, behind you' for more than two hours.

Slapstick, songs and the odd surprise have even the teachers - some dressed as elves or sporting Christmas jumpers - clapping, tapping their feet and singing along.

Eastern Daily Press: Dame Trott (Ian Marr), Simple Simon (Scott Cripps) and Lord Chamberlain (Charles Dennett) in Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian BurtDame Trott (Ian Marr), Simple Simon (Scott Cripps) and Lord Chamberlain (Charles Dennett) in Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian Burt (Image: Archant 2017)

'We're all kids in 'ere - even the mums and dads and the grannies and grandads,' observes Simple Simon (Scott Cripps) prophetically as the cast get into their stride.

We're also all in this together, we're warned by Lord Chamberlain (KL.FM967 Radio's 'Posh' Charles Dennett) as the true extent of Stoney Broke's financial crisis is laid bare with a side-swipe at Brexit.

Then the cast sigues seamlessly into Abba's Money, Money, Money - cheered on by hundreds of youngsters who weren't even born when it first hit the charts.

Act One ends with Fairy Fuschia (Kayleigh McKnight) imploring the beanstalk skywards with a genetically-modified Bond number.

Eastern Daily Press: Ian Marr (Dame Trott) once again is the Dame at the pantomime Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian BurtIan Marr (Dame Trott) once again is the Dame at the pantomime Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian Burt (Image: Archant 2017)

As it rises upwards Jack (Rebecca Lisewski) leaps aboard and joins her in a soaring duet.

There are children dancing on the balcony by the time Act Two kicks off with a rock 'n rolly doughy interlude, with an exploding sausage gag and a bit of Strictly thrown in.

Then booooooooooo, hisssssssss! The evil Fleshcreep (Ian Reddington) parades the captured Princess Jill (Jessica Croll), who's destined to become the giant's dinner.

Cue hungry giant, to giant gasps from the audience before Jill sings him to sleep and the rest of the cast rock up to rescue her and the goose that lays the golden egg, which will save us from ending up brassic. Jack and Jill marry and live happily ever - you know how it goes.

Eastern Daily Press: Ian Marr (Dame Trott) once again is the Dame at the pantomime Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian BurtIan Marr (Dame Trott) once again is the Dame at the pantomime Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian Burt (Image: Archant 2017)

Jack and the Beanstalk is on at the Alive Corn Exchange, King's Lynn, until Sunday, December 31, with two performances most days. Tickets (£15 - £21.50) via here or 01553 764864.

Eastern Daily Press: Princess Jill (Jessica Croll) and Jack (Rebecca Lisewski) in Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian BurtPrincess Jill (Jessica Croll) and Jack (Rebecca Lisewski) in Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian Burt (Image: Archant 2017)

Eastern Daily Press: Rebecca Lisewski is excellent in the lead role of Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian BurtRebecca Lisewski is excellent in the lead role of Jack and the Beanstalk at the Alive Corn Exchange in King's Lynn. Picture: Ian Burt (Image: Archant 2017)