Our columnist reveals some of the strangest relationships of all time - can you compete with any of these?
Not all relationships are conventional.
And I don’t mean kinky... well, not in the conventional sense, perhaps.
As we approach Valentine’s Day, the news comes in that a woman has married her duvet. As one BBC Breakfast presenter pointed out, this was unlikely to last because there will come a time when you need to change your duvet ? maybe when the filling sinks to the bottom or top, depending on how you deal with it.
Whether or not these considerations have been made by artist Pascale Selleck, she has a wedding planner to help her organise the lavish ceremony.
Ms Selleck says her bed cover has provided the “most intimate and reliable relationship” she’s ever had... “It has always been there for me and gives me great hugs.”
The artist, who describes herself as a “rude, crude, spectacular exhibitionist”, issued an open invitation to anyone wishing to celebrate with her.
She will be wearing a nightgown, dressing gown and slippers for the big day, but she’s keeping her husband-to-be’s outfit a surprise.
What unites the people who make similar assignations is the certainty their partner will not answer back, will never criticise and will (depending on the substance of the item) be supportive. But in terms of contribution to the household expenses, they do nothing. They won’t turn up for parties (with the exception of Liu Ye - see below) and the chances of getting a card or gift on Valentine’s Day are in the region of nil.
If I wasn’t happily married to a man (how very conventional) I might choose a climbing rose - they look lovely, smell wonderful, grow tall and you can keep the petals... or am I over-thinking this?
Some of those who wed objects or notions rather than real people, claim to have fulfilling sexual relationships with their partners but we won’t go there...
Here are some trysts that reinforce the old saying: “It takes all sorts to make a world.”
1. Erika, a former soldier who lives in San Francisco, has been in love with objects before. She adored Lance, a bow that helped her to become a world-class archer and was fond of the Berlin Wall. But it was the Eiffel Tower that persuaded her to enter a lasting relationship. In 2008, in the presence of a handful of friends and the Eiffel Tower, Erika pledged to love, honour and obey the Parisian landmark and changed her surname to La Tour Eiffel.
2. I am especially taken with Liu Ye from Zhuhai city, China, who, in January 2017, married himself, inviting 100 guests to the ceremony. He stood with a foam cut-out of himself. Lui is reported to have said: “There are many reasons for marrying myself, but mainly to express my dissatisfaction with reality,”“This marriage makes me whole again. My definition of marriage is different from others.” Lui said he could be “a bit narcissistic”. You’re telling me. But he is not the only person who has been attracted to himself. In 2003, artist Jennifer Hoes married herself in the Netherlands on her 30th birthday. It was a large affair in front of friends and family. Hoes said, “Why not pledge allegiance to yourself in a ceremony, as the basis for completion of your life and relationships?”
3. The clue for this one is in Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer’s surname ? which translates as Berlin Wall. Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who lives in Sweden, wed the famous concrete structure in 1979. According to reports, She claimed to have fallen in love with the wall when she first saw it on television, when she was seven. She began collecting pictures and saving up for visits. On her sixth trip in 1979 they tied the knot before a handful of guests. While the world rejoiced when the Wall, which separated East and West Berlin and was a symbol of the Cold War, was largely torn down in 1989, its “wife” was horrified. She’s never been back.
4. Turner-Prize winning artist Tracey Emin’s husband is a rock. Not in the sense of a steadfast male partner that she can turn to... no, he is a rock; a large piece of rock. may not talk much or do the ironing, but when it comes to fidelity, he’s a rock. Really, he’s a rock. No, you don’t understand. Her husband actually is a very large stone that stands in her garden in France. Ms Emin wore her a funeral shroud as a wedding dress for the 2016 wedding. It was something of a poetic union, by all accounts. She said at the time: “I thought the stone is so majestic and beautiful, I really do love the stone... And then I thought about the way I love, how I pour love into things and people, whatever it is, passionately, but not expecting it to be returned either. I just accept that’s the way it is, it’s just me who gives. The stone becomes a metaphor for my feeling.”
5. This week’s news of duvet love is not the first bed-based love interest. In 2010 Lee Jin-gyu, from Korea, fell in love with and married his pillow - in this case (no pun intended) a large Japanese pillow called dakimakura. The pillow wore a fetching wedding dress for the service which was conducted in front of a local priest.
6. Perhaps a little less off-the-wall (see Berlin Wall above) is having a thing for Barbie, the doll with impossible vital statistics and surely the biggest wardrobe on the planet. In 1999 Chang Hsi-hsum, from Taiwan, he married a Barbie doll in an elaborate attempt to appease the spirit of his first wife who died some 20 years before. He married the 11-inch plastic doll during an elaborate ceremony at his local Buddhist temple.
Do you have a strange relationship with an inaninmate object? Write to me.
Sources: www.oddee.com www.lolwot.com
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