People who buy 'golden circle' tickets are not superfans, they are silly
PUBLISHED: 10:00 07 December 2019 | UPDATED: 10:59 07 December 2019
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I'm more Metallica than Michael Bublé, so I'm not involved in the desperate clamour to get tickets for his Blickling Hall concert.
I get why people are, though.
He's a great entertainer, and there's something alluring about the prospect of smooth tunes in the shadow of a stately home in high summer.
Why all the fuss about the ticket prices, though?
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Some people blanched at the prospect of paying £70 to see the Canadian crooner under the stars - or in the sheeting rain. But I reckon it's pretty good value.
Big set-piece concerts are a special event, particularly if you really love the artist.
I paid about the same to see Metallica at Twickenham this year, having longed to see them live for 30 years. I would have gone to £100 and beyond if necessary to ensure I was there.
The result is that I have a treasured memory for the rest of my life.
I'll remember the concert forever, but won't miss the money.
How often does £70 buy you something that just keeps on giving?
Here are a few other things that you can do with £70:
Fill up a medium-sized car with unleaded petrol:
Unless you're very special, you won't sit on your rocking chair in your dotage, surrounded by your grandchildren, regaling them with stories of that unforgettable day when you filled up your Skoda Octavia with unleaded at South Mimms.
Buy one of the cheapest tickets available for Manchester United v Everton next weekend:
Unlike most concerts, football matches come with no guarantee of entertainment, so £70 for 90 minutes is a risky investment.
Get a decent pair of Levi's
In fairness, decent jeans endure. And when they fit properly, they are very satisfying.
Fork out for dinner for two somewhere nice - or dinner for one somewhere hideously overpriced
Possibly very nice at the time, but the meal soon merges in the memory with every other one you have.
Pay the call-out fee for a workman
Nobody likes paying for repairs, whether to a boiler, a sink or your car.
Do a (very small) weekly supermarket shop
If you enjoy this, you're weird. Grocery shopping is worse than a holiday in hell: I bet Satan doesn't force you to pack your own bags or use self-service machines.
Have a night out on the beer with your mates.
OK, it's fun, but you'll probably have forgotten about it by the morning. The more you drink, the more you spend: the more you spend, the less you remember. It's counter-intuitive.
The thing with Michael Buble is that he is a brilliant performer who pretty much guarantees his fans an unforgettable experience. I love a bit of Sinatra, Tony Bennett and Nat King Cole, so I reckon I'd have a great time at Blickling in July.
I do wonder, though, what possesses people to fork out £175 for the "golden circle" tickets, that guarantee a place near the front and a possible glance from the man himself.
Some call such people superfans: I call them silly.
You'll get a cricked neck, burnt-out retinae and tinnitus for the joy of kidding yourself that Buble looked you in the eye and was surely thinking about leaving his model wife to spirit you away.
It's a great way for the artist and the promoters to make more money, but it should be called the "mug mark-up".
And don't get me started on anyone who pays the £500 for tickets being resold on Viagogo. Much more money than sense.