Hooray! The relatives have left. But, ugh, it's New Year
PUBLISHED: 15:45 27 December 2017
Is the fighting over the nut ones in the tin of Quality Street finished? Have you eaten enough? Are you fed up with turkey? Have you died from charade boredom? Do you care if you ever see a board game ever again?
It’s over, dear readers: finished for another year.
And now we can all get back to normal, stop panic-induced shopping and loosen our belts.
Some of us have even managed to get rid of relations – always a great leap forward that even Chairman Mao would be proud of.
We can ask the question “Did you have a good Christmas?” as an opening gambit as we make the final rounds of drinks dos and social events that we, if we are really honest, could do without.
Not that I’m a curmudgeon; just realistic. James Knows Best,
But it isn’t over really, is it?
We’ve got New Year to get through, haven’t we? A final night of excess before routine resumes and we can all breathe a sigh of relief.
I’m never sure what I think about New Year’s Eve, are you? It seems odd to me to celebrate the passing of time. As if life isn’t fleeting enough. It also seems odd to announce a fresh start at 12.01am on January 1.
I remember the millennium, when everyone went mad – including the poor Queen, who, for the only time I can remember, looked uncomfortable – a whole year before the new millennium actually started.
That dome business cost a fortune of our money and there are few who recall it these days without a feeling of slight embarrassment; but let’s be thankful that New Labour itself is now little more than an awkward collective memory.
In the end everything changes.
I’m no soothsayer – sooth means truth, I think – in the sense of having prophetic sight, but I think it’s always interesting to make a few predictions, don’t you, at this time of year?
Obviously I shall lose weight and buff up, but beyond that I thought it might be an idea to have a guess at what might come to pass and what we hope might and might not happen.
Perhaps it won’t be as bad as we all might fear.
Here are a few of my thoughts:
• Theresa May resigns, Jeremy Corbyn becomes Prime Minister and I’ll definitely emigrate
• The French will be awkward over Brexit
• Talking of Brexit, no-one will be happy
• Ipswich Town get promoted, as one Blues fan colleague suggested
• Norwich City win the FA Cup, as another colleague hopes
• The merest hint of snow somewhere will bring the nation to a halt
• Brandon still won’t have a bypass
• Donald Trump will tweet something he shouldn’t
• Someone famous will die, which we will all overreact to
• I’ll win the lottery
• Christmas will come again
So what do you think? Have you any sooths to say? Do your predictions come true? Do you worry about the future? Email James at firstname.lastname@example.org or write to me at James Marston, East Anglian Daily Times, 11, Woolhall Street, Bury
St Edmunds, Suffolk, IP33 1LA.