Revealed: Some of the wittiest football chants we’ve heard from the terraces - but can you do better (while keeping it clean?)
09:02 13 March 2014
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They can be witty and funny, taunting and provocative – and sometimes even a little bit rude – but we all have our own favourite football chant.
A recent poll has shown the best football chant of the last 10 years belongs to West Ham fans, but Norwich City supporters in Norfolk have more than a few gems of their own.
The one which scooped the top spot was Hammers’ fans response to their former star Rio Ferdinand’s ban for missing a drugs test while at Manchester United.
To the tune of Duran Duran’s Rio, the fans taunted: “His name is Rio and he watches from the stand”.
Others among the top 10 include jibes at Luis Suarez, and suggestions his teeth are offside, and Scotland fans’ threats to their Italian counterparts that if they couldn’t defeat them on the pitch, they would at least deep-fry their pizzas.
In second place was an ode to wayward striker Bobby Zamora, claimed variously by fans of Brighton and Hove Albion, West Ham, Fulham and QPR, and sung to the tune of Dean Martin’s Volare: “When you’re sat in row Z and the ball hits your head, that’s Zamora, that’s Zamora.”
It edged into third place fans’ taunts to Alan Shearer as he gave up the safety of Match of the Day sofa to lead his beloved Newcastle United to relegation in 2008, and Liverpool supporters’ tribute to their “Father Ted” striker Robbie Keane – arguably the highlight of his brief stay at Anfield.
We asked readers to send in their favourite chants from over the years, at Carrow Road and elsewhere, and have picked some of the best here. All together now...
“We’ve come for our scarves, we’ve come for our scarves...” Norwich City fans to Manchester United fans during the northern club’s green and yellow protests against the club board.
“Here we go, here we go, here we go, Youssef Safri all over the world, woooaaaaoooohhh, Moroccan all over the world” – An ode to Norwich City’s Youssef Safri.
“We love you Paul McVeigh and if it’s quite alright, we love you Paul McVeigh, despite your lack of height, we love you Paul McVeigh, you cross the ball and we score” – Norwich fans about former striker Paul McVeigh.
“Your teeth are offside, your teeth are offside, Luis Suarez, your teeth are offside” – Manchester United fans singing about Liverpool’s Luis Suarez.
“Six foot two, eyes of blue, Duncan Forbes is after you” – Canaries fan to their legendary centre-back, now suffering with Alzheimer’s, who was honoured at ‘Duncan’s Day’ on Saturday.
“I’m Odemwingie, and this is crazy, I’m in your car park, so sign me maybe?” – Fans taunted wantaway striker Peter Odemwingie with this ditty, to the tune of Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe, after he tried to force through a move from QPR to West Brom on transfer deadline day.
“You belong in a burger, belong in a burrrgerrr” – Crystal Palace fans to Ipswich Town’s horse mascot last season.
“His name is Rio and he watches from the stand” – West Ham fans to Manchester United’s Rio Ferdinand, sung to the tune of Duran Duran’s Rio.
“When you’re sat in row Z, and the ball hits your head, that’s Zamora, that’s Zamora” – Supporters of any club Bobby Zamora has played for, to the tune of Dean Martin’s That’s Amore
“You should have stayed on the telly” – Newcastle United fans to Alan Shearer, when the Match of the Day pundit led the team to relegation as manager.
“He’s fast, he’s red, he talks like Father Ted, Robbie Keane” – Liverpool fans on the club’s former striker.
“Deep fry yer pizzas, we’re gonna deep fry yer pizzas” – Scotland fans to Italy’s supporters in a World Cup qualifier in March 2007.
“You only live round the corner” – Fulham to Manchester United supporters, adopted by other London teams when they host to United.
“It could have been you, it could have been you, O Sammy Clingan, it could have been you” – Norwich fans showed no mercy to former midfielder Sammy Clingan, who missed out on Premier League promotion when he quit the club for a move to Coventry City, who supposedly offered a better chance.
“I can’t read and I can’t write but that don’t really matter, cos I’m a Norwich City fan and I can drive a tractor. Oo ah, oo ah, oo to be a farmer” – Norwich fans, to everyone.
“He wears the club shop, he wears the club shop, oh Tony Pulis he wears the club shop” – opposition fans to the former Stoke City boss.
“Javi Javi Javi Garrido, Javi Javi Javi Garrido, Javi Javi Javi Garrido, he loves paella, now he’s a Yella” – This La Bamba-inspired chant welcomed Javier Garrido to Carrow Road.
“We’re on the road we’re Punton’s Army, we’re all off to Wembley, and we’ll really kick some ****, when we win the FA Vase, because Diss Town are the greatest football team” – Diss Town fans on the road to Wembley.