With friends like these

Over the past weeks I have become aware of the phrase “critical friend”.

It has frequently popped up during conversations with like-minded businesswomen.

At first I took it at face value, but having thought about it, I realise the inherent power of the true critical friend.

We all tend to seek the approval of others; women do so more so than men, simply because of the way we relate to one another.

Women are naturally more attuned to the reaction of others and innately sensitive to the interdependence of our lives. The ideology of the critical friend is defined not by the one who takes delight in belittling your efforts on a regular basis but by someone who will strive to help you achieve the best possible outcome, review your continuing progress and use their experience to your advantage.

The simile of a dive buddy serves well to demonstrate this approach. No matter how experienced the diver, most prefer to have another looking out for them. They make their dive safe in the knowledge that a colleague is monitoring their progress and will always react in their best interests.

The wider application of the critical friend has manifested in the field of education for many years, in recognition of the fact that a solitary, disconnected approach to issues which affect establishments with a common aim simply fails to make sense.

The ideal of this methodology has gained momentum in commercial circles and can be applied to organisations as well as individuals.

The critical friend has many guises. I last heard the phrase at a reception held by a relatively new enterprise, Norfolk Knowledge. Started by the Norwich Business School and supported by Norfolk County Council, the main purpose of Norfolk Knowledge is to develop a network that offers local business, commercial and voluntary, access to the untapped experience of a collective of individuals living within the county.

Like many new, successful innovations, it provokes a “slap your forehead”-type response. Of course, we all possess a body of unique and useful experience.

A working woman who has already navigated the deep waters of career and family knows a thing or two about keeping all the balls in the air and not dropping one; she is likely to have a view about best practice. She has developed strategies for coping which might just prove invaluable to someone else.

This is one reason why networking is so important. A strong network of like-minded individuals may also have the potential for building a body of critical friends.

Since I have taken over as chairman of the Norwich Businesswomen's Network, I have found myself explaining the benefits of women-only networking. There is a school of thought that suggests that organised groups of working women are taking an insular stance against the wider business community - the antithesis of a critical friend approach, perhaps?

I disagree. You cannot argue against the fact that women's clubs are thriving, and for very good reason. Women are natural networkers, yet the structure of many business clubs curbs this instinctive talent.

Women flourish in environments that are supportive and offer a positive forum to make connections that are both enjoyable and beneficial. In most female networking environments, egos are left at the door and there is space to learn from others and forge valuation relationships.

Whether you need the helping hand of a critical friend or you are able to offer your own special brand of expertise, I have no doubt that we all benefit from the experience.

You can contact Mary-Jane at mary.jane.kingsland@gmail.com, or visit www.green-light.uk.com