Chris Liles, business mentor (columnists for EDP biz).

Chris Liles- Oi are you listening?

Monday, February 13, 2012
6:30 AM

So the Greek unions called a general strike against their Government’s planned austerity measures, just after Greece’s critical Euro-zone bail-out was put into limbo.

Now I am to politics what Dumbo is to rock-climbing. Surely though, Greece’s Euro-partners must be wondering if those unions have ‘got their ears on’ to use CB radio terminology.

The Greek Unions seem to have been so desperate to impress their members that they chose to ignore the rest of the world.

Rather like a child clamping their hands over their ears and shouting “La-la-la, not listening!” In business have you ever encountered people like that? Are you one? No? How do you know? You may not be listening enough to be aware of it.

Far too many people start off listening and then decide they have heard enough, make their decision, switch off and inside their heads are already drafting their answer. The other party may still be giving valuable information. However, it literally falls on deaf ears since their decision is already made. The critical error is that they decide based on their own experience, not the other person’s. How conceited to assume everyone else’s life should reflect your own!

Stephen Covey, author of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, confirms people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. Once they consider they have enough information to draft a suitable response, they shut off and start honing their reply. Instead, they should shut out the world (by disregarding their phone, iPod, laptop, desktop etc) and choose to focus solely and intently on the person to whom they are speaking. Similar advice applies to emails or texts. Take the time to re-read them to ensure you are communicating accurately and that your words cannot be misinterpreted.

Some years ago I encountered a phrase that I now endeavour to live by: Wherever you are, be there.

This means being in the moment, listening to and conversing with the person/s in front of you. It is also called being polite, rather than texting, phoning, reading, watching TV or even just thinking of where you have to be in an hour.

Does that make me sound old-fashioned? Is old-fashioned courtesy wrong? Irrespective, I can assure you that by adopting that approach I have enjoyed some unexpectedly fascinating and valuable conversations.

Try it.

Allocate a timescale e.g. 10 minutes, then shut out all potential interruptions and focus solely on the conversation you are having. You may find it challenging but the relationship, and probably also the information you receive, will soar. I predict you will often reach the ten minute deadline and decide this conversation is more important and/or enjoyable than your next commitment.

If you consider me a dinosaur, I will respect your opinion since you are entitled to it. I will also listen to and consider any comments you write in the box below. You may even change my mind. I am also keen to read your thoughts supporting my delightfully old-fashioned approach to business relationships. Prove to me we are not a nation of Greek union leaders!

My last blog (16/1/12) was about communication and ‘Eclectic’ kindly left a comment (I warmly welcome your thoughts below too) emphasising the importance of listening. She/he also made the valid point that listening extends to taking the time to read emails properly before making judgements.

In my column last year I forwarded wisdom from www.stephencovey.com covering the fifth of his Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. That wisdom I commend to you with my deepest plea to make it your watchword: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

7 comments

Absolutely agree. Remember anyone who is about to either conduct or attend an interview - listening is the most important aspect of the whole process.

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Mary McGivern

Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Chris you're a dinosaur! Just kidding. This is a great post and I agree 100%, in fact I was speaking to someone about it earlier today. Listening is a skill that seems to be dying out, but it's something I'm making a concerted effort to get better at. Thanks for the reminder Mark

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Alfie Potts

Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Chris - love the quote 'Wherever you are, be there'. So often you can see people are not really listening. I am still relatively young!! but i strongly believe in treating others as i would wish to be treated if i were in their position. Respect and politeness costs nothing but can bring great rewards.

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Simon B2B

Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Chris you are so right. I think people have become so wary they are sometimes unable to see other people's good intentions. They are busy and inward looking and have little time to listen to others while they strive towards their own goals on their own. Sometimes we need to accept the help that's offered rather than seeing it as criticism or a slight on our own abilities. We learn so much from listening to others if we just open our minds to their suggestions. Conversly we need to be aware of how others receive us. Mindfulness works in all forms of communication. Your comments, Chris, are always welcome.

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louisehands4hounds

Monday, February 13, 2012
A good thought provoking piece- for myself as a Health and Safety Consultant- i must at all times stay in the room with the client; it would be easy to provide a one size fits all service- but our niche is to listen, understand and devise a system that fits the clients needs & budget; in these tough economic times it is even more important to listen effectively. I do wish our own politicans would listen more to us business people and play the long game rather than the short term policies we seem to have in place

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RedCatSarah

Monday, February 13, 2012
Chris, you are not wrong regarding listening. And it can take great patience especially when you already know what you are being told, can predict the rest, the speaker is talking "cow-dung " or, and I think this is quite relevant where the economic situation is concerned, you don't sense that the politicians and pundits actually understand the situation either. So far as the Greek Unions are concerned - it's politics; they sense an opportunity to assert their power should a vacuum arise.

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RichardS

Monday, February 13, 2012
Chris, you leave us with two wonderful maxims to live life by 'listen to understand' as opposed to reply and 'wherever you are be there'! It is truly tragic times for the Greeks, despite two long recessionary years financially for them they have to endure even harder austere measures for even longer. This will involve accepting a way of life change they see as unpalatable because their unions have only listened to reply! Great article again Chris, many thanks for putting two great maxims in the forefront of my mind for the start of a week. I will be sharing them with business colleagues today :-)

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BNI-Dan

Monday, February 13, 2012