Cracking Quotes

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You know last time I gave you a challenge? And then I was challenged back? Well, I'm proud to say that I did manage to use the phrases, "Way to go, babycakes," and, "Hot diggedy damn," in a normal conversation, but both unfortunately received cold stares and resulted in me being shunned from said social situation. Which led to an interesting drama lesson on Tuesday afternoon, to say the least. The new game for this week is not one you have to do in public, it is merely theoretical. The game is called:

Best Way To Get Yourself Shunned From Society And Consequently Ignored And/Or Whispered About For The Rest Of The Occasion.

Now, I'm going to put out the best one we could come up with, and I want to see if you've got anything better. It's basically the best conversation killer you can think of, but ten times worse. Here's my offering:

"You know who my role model is? Gary Glitter."

It works with others too, but Gary Glitter has the right comedic effect as a punch line. He's more unexpected than Hitler and rolls off the tongue more easily than Michael Jackson (I don't think anyone's ever said that about him before). The optional extra is to follow it by asking the people around you if they want to be in your gang.

Another couple of amusing quotes came up this week, which I'd very much like to share with you. The first one happened during a Physics lesson, and makes me despair of private education somewhat. If this is the answer we can come up with only two months before our GCSEs, then I cannot imagine what kind of magic will have to happen to make us pass.

"Who was the first man in space?"
"Louis Armstrong?"

Well, I'll just leave you with that for a moment. Not only did she get the wrong man, she got the wrong Armstrong. As our Physics teacher said, "I don't think he sung 'Wonderful World' from orbit." That was a truly priceless start to a rather dreary-looking Tuesday. The next is quite witty from my drama class - we're all actually comic genii (correct plural) but no one knows it. We just can't show it when we're studying Arthur Miller and Steven Berkoff.

"There was a band. They were called The Sex Pistols. They invented punk."
"There was a band. They were called The Village People. They invented gay."

Fantastic. It's quite sad really that there are more cultural references from before I was born that I understand than ones about current life. Or is it sad? Maybe mods and rockers are so much better than emos and chavs? Maybe Blondie was greater than Katy Perry or Lily Allen will ever be? Maybe... Wait; why have I started all those facts with 'maybe'? I'd love to be a mod, and I'd love to look and sing like Blondie. It's definitely my rose-tinted spectacles, but, besides the internet and technology, what is really good about modern culture? I'd argue not much.

And so, to summarise: you must think of something for the game (I lost The Game - there's a treat for you if you know what I'm on about), and if you've got any cracking quotes, share them. I have so many more - I collect them - but those were brilliant ones from this week. Anyway, I hope you can win.