You have probably heard these already...

...but just in case you haven't, here are a few funnies to drive away the doom and gloom - enjoy.

Who is an optimist?
A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.

What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
The pizza can still feed a family of four.

Why don’t estate agents look out of the window in the morning?
So they have something to do in the afternoon.

What have an Icelandic bank and an Icelandic streaker got in common?
They both have frozen assets.

What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
The pigeon can still leave a deposit on a new Ferrari.

The credit crunch has helped me get back on to my feet.
The car's been repossessed.

Latest news: The Isle of Dogs bank has collapsed.
They've called in the retrievers.

The bank returned a cheque to me this morning, stamped: 'insufficient funds.'
- Is that them or me?

 

You know it's a credit crunch when...

• The cash point asks if you can spare any change.
• There's a 'buy one, get one free' offer... - on banks. T
• he Inland Revenue offers a 25 per cent discount... - for cash-payers.
• Gordon Brown stops chewing his nails... - and starts sucking his thumb.
• Your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than sterling. Highgrove is repossessed.
• Victoria Beckham is caught shopping in Primark.

 

My bank manager said he was going to concentrate on the BIG issues from now on...
...He sold me one outside Boots yesterday.

 

A man asked his bank manager: “How do I start a small business?”
“Simple,” said the bank manager, “buy a big one and wait.”

 

And finally…

Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and Peter Mandelson are flying to a world economic summit.

Peter looks at Alistair and chuckles: “You know I could throw a £50 note out of the window right now and make one person very happy.”

Alistair shrugs his shoulders and says: “Well, I could throw five £10 notes out of the window and make five people very happy.”

Gordon says: “Of course, but I could throw ten £5 notes out of the window and make ten people very happy.”

The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at them all and says: “I could throw all of you out of the window and make the whole country happy.”